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Archive for the ‘right wing liars’ Category

So, this happened: One of Alex Jone’s thugs stuck his microphone in the face of young girl who was passing by, who was maybe 12 years old, and said “How are you, young man?”. The girl looks surprised and taken aback for a second or two, as if asking herself, “did he just say what I think he just said?” Then she looks at him like he’s some kind of repulsive toad, and says “You’re a fucking idiot.”

Which, of course, is the only possible response to someone calling a girl “young man” when that girl is quite clearly a girl (wearing girl shorts and girl glasses and girl hair and having little budding girl breasts). Someone who would do that is, indeed, a fucking idiot, and it’s quite appropriate to both point that out and to give him the double bird when he tries to dig the hole he’s in even deeper.

What’s been most interesting, however, is the simultaneous appalled response of the pearl clutchers of the Right. “How dare this girl be so rude to a man!” At which point I gotta say… uh, wha?

Look: First of all, it isn’t appropriate for a reporter to ambush a 12 year old girl in the street and shove a microphone in her face without having the permission of her parents. That’s not reporting. That’s child exploitation.

Second of all, no adult wins when picking a fight against a 12 year old girl. It’s not a good look, throwing down on a child, the way Alex Jones just did on his national television show by calling a 12 year old girl a “liberal thug”. It makes you look a total ass and loser. I mean, what kind of man is so lame that he has to pick fights with a 12 year old girl?! How fucking special of a little white snowflake do you have to be to get so triggered by a little girl telling you off?

But beyond that, what this points out is that the right wing is full of fucking perverts who groom their girls to be quiet and submissive and compliant, i.e., victims. The very thought of a girl who is tough-minded and assertive and unabashed at standing up for herself sends them into dithering tizzies of pearl-clutching upon their fainting couches. Why, if all girls were so self-assertive, how would they ever get the wood up for their pedophile fantasies? How dare these assertive girls cause their stiffy to become a limpy!

Now, let’s do a mind experiment. My dad was raised in a French-speaking household, and was bilingual in both French and English. He was also ex-Navy. Being bilingual was a great help to his Navy career, because it let him curse in both languages. Yep, he had twice the vocabulary of curse words of the average Navy salt!

What that basically meant was that he could go on for a long, long time cursing you out without ever repeating himself, even moreso than the average drill sergeant or Navy petty officer. And if this asshole had stuck that microphone in his face and said “How are you, young woman?” my father would have ripped him a new one up and down with vocabulary that would have blasted the paint off that microphone and left Alex Jone’s thug completely speechless.

Do you think the pearl clutchers of the right would have been in such a tizzy if they’d had a sailor, a military man, using far worse vocabulary upon being mis-gendered? Uhm… maybe. But somehow I doubt it. I suspect the reaction would have been more like, “how *dare* he insult a fine military man by calling him a woman!”.

So anyhow, one of these fine paragons of right wing thought said to me, “Would you want your own daughter to behave like that?”

And I said, “Absolutely! If someone insults my daughter, I want her to do a double-take, look at him like he’s lower than a wart on a frog’s toe, and give it right back to him redoubled. Raising a girl like a delicate little flower is raising a future victim incapable of standing up for herself. I love how all you pearl clutching right wingers have come out of the woodwork appalled, appalled I say, that a little girl isn’t a sweet virginal little thing. Kinda pervy, actually. Pedophile, much?”

He had no response to that.

— Badtux the Pervert-smellin’ Penguin

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F-35 fighter in its natural habitat


Which, it turns out, is a huge amount:

“They spend how much on transgender medical services? $8.4 million? My God that’s like four screws and a couple of bolts on my ejection seat,” the F-35 told reporters, in between sips of cognac during its lunch break. “I’m so glad Trump is ending this disgraceful waste of military spending.”

Yeppers, Teh Donald fucked over his queer supporters today, banning transgender troops because of “tremendous healthcare costs”. Which, as the F-35 above points out, is such a huge amount that it could pay for four screws and a couple of bolts on a F-35’s ejection seat.

So much for the notion that Trump wasn’t going to govern as a right-wing religious zealot…

– Badtux the “Wow, what a stupid excuse!” Penguin

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I mean, yeah, people are upset that all this elections data is going to be in one place where it could comprise a massive invasion of privacy, but it isn’t as if the White House would ever release sensitive personal information about voters.

Except they did. Oops.

Yeah, I’m glad I live in a state (California) where the state government says “Over my dead body” to that massive invasion of privacy…

– Badtux the “Ooops!” Penguin

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Ordered by a court to release his list of Russia contacts from his security clearance form, Attorney General Jeff Sessions instead releases a page from the form that is redacted to the point of basically being a blank sheet.

Oh Jeffy, puh-LEEZE. It’s not as if it’s a secret that you met with multiple Russian officials during the course of the Presidential campaign. Hell, we even have pictures of you talking with them:

Not to mention that you’ve even said yourself that you talked them them “as part of your Senate duties”. So you producing this blank sheet of paper? Total dick move. Total. Dick. Move.

If the plaintiffs in this FOIA lawsuit don’t file a petition for contempt of court with that evidence above, their lawyers ain’t doin’ their job. And guess what, Jeffy? It’s likely that you’ll get to spend a few days in Graybar Motel, like that woman in Kentucky who thought she could defy a court order to issue marriage certificates and changed her mind swiftly after spending some time in Club Fed for contempt of court. Let’s see what gets produced after a few days contemplating your navel in the Graybar Motel….

– Badtux the Popcorn-Munchin’ Penguin

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I’ve been baking the past few days because we *finally* got summer here in the SF Bay area — and boy howdy, we got it with a vengeance. Broke records all around the Bay area on Sunday, and Saturday wasn’t much cooler.

So anyhow, in the aftermath of a lesbian black woman saving the life of an anti-gay David Duke supporting bigot who was attacked by what appears to have been a lone wolf white Bernie Bro, the tighty righties have their panties in a bunch about how those mean lefties are coarsening the public discourse. Like this leftie threatening violence:

Err, yeah.

Or this liberal threatening violence:

Err, ah. Okay. Well, I’m sure this guy has to be a liberal:

No? Okay, so how about this guy who shot someone outside a Milo Yiannopoulos speech? He was clearly a liberal, right.

Uhm, no. He was wearing a Trump hat and had told his wife he was carrying his gun with him to the event so he could kill some liberals.

Okay, so let’s get this straight. You have some liberals saying that we should impeach Trump, one of whom, out of all the millions saying that, decided to start taking potshots at Republicans. Then you got right wingers saying that killing liberals is a great idea, *lots* of right wingers saying that, you can’t throw a rock at Stormfront or Brietbart or the Fox News comment section without hitting one of the right wingers saying that, and that means that liberals are the ones advocating violence.

Yeah, global warming is real, and it’s apparently baked the fucking brains out of half of America. Just sayin’.

– Badtux the Too-warm Penguin

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His jobs program apparently is… lawyers.

Yep, Donald Trump’s lawyer has hired a defense lawyer to defend him (the lawyer) against charges of colluding with Russia. Everybody in Trump’s family has hired a lawyer to defend them against charges of colluding with Russia. Donald Trump hired a different lawyer (other than the lawyer who hired the lawyer) to defend him against the charges of colluding with Russia, and it appears that Trump’s Russia lawyer (Kasowitz) is going to have to hire his own lawyer given his own history of collaborating with the Russians. Mike Pence has hired a personal lawyer too to deal with Russia inquiries, and Stephen M. Ryan, the lawyer for Trump’s original lawyer that needed a lawyer to defend him against Russia collusion charges, apparently is also going to need a lawyer because he, too, has been called to testify about Russia collusion. So the lawyer for the lawyer needs a lawyer.

Dear Appalachia: if you guys need jobs, Donald Trump has the jobs program for you! Just go to law school as a defense attorney, move to Washington D.C., and bingo, you’ll be hired immediately by the lawyer of a lawyer of a lawyer who needs to defend another lawyer against charges of colluding with Russia. It’s lawyers all the way down!

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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Trump: “Hey, North Korea! We’re sending an aircraft carrier group to watch your missile launch so if you get up to something, we’ll smack you good!”

NK: “Ha ha ha. You no smack us with silly aircraft carrier, we sink it!”

Australia: “Hey wait, isn’t that aircraft carrier supposed to be holding exercises with our navy in the Indian Ocean?”

Mad Dog: (double face palm). “Yeah. It’s still on its way.” Huge sigh.

Navy: “U.S.S. Carl Vinson steams its way south through the Sundra Strait on way to joint exercises with Australian Navy in the Indian Ocean.”

Whole world: “Say wha?!”

Trump: “Well, we sent submarines instead. Very powerful, we have submarines, very powerful, far more powerful than the aircraft carrier, that I can tell you.

Whole world: “Say wha?!”

Cue double face palm.

– Badtux the Sadly Laughing Penguin

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