Archive for the ‘assholes’ Category

Oh wait….

From the Library of Congress:

“According to the Library of Congress Civil War Desk Reference, 2002, page 860, approximately 70,000 books have been published on the Civil War over the years up to that date. The Library of Congress, though not owning every one of these books, most likely owns copies of a great majority of them. The shelf space taken up by the Civil War books just in the E call number classification in the closed book stacks is considerable. This does not include those books which cover Civil War related information and may be cataloged primarily under other subjects. One should also consider that the Library owns many thousands of photographs and illustrations, maps, and manuscript materials on the Civil War.
I hope this information proves to be of help to you. Thank you.
W. Elsbury
Reference Specialist
Main Reading Room
Humanities and Social Sciences Division
Library of Congress
101 Independence Ave. SE
Washington, DC 20540-4660


It’s interesting that the same people who keep telling blacks to get over that whole slavery thing, already, seem to be the same people who want to keep all those statues of slave-owners on every street corner in the South because they’re still not over the Civil War.

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin


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Youtube Kids spammers rack up billions of views on disturbing, violent, seemingly algorithmic videos.

Sickening :(.

Maybe it’s time we just took all these computers out into the streets and burned them all. Sigh.

This is why we can’t have nice things. Whenever someone invents something that could be nice, some ratbastard takes it and does evil shit with it. Always. :(.

– Badtux the Gruntled Penguin

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As their very own secession statements and their very own Constitution point out, the Confederate States of America was founded in order to defend slavery. This is not controversial amongst anybody who has actually read these founding documents, all of which are available on the Internet for your perusal. Fuck, the CSA Constitution even forbade Confederate states from outlawing slavery. State’s rights my fine-feathered ass! It was all about the right to own human beings as farm animals, as livestock, to be treated the same way as any other livestock on a farm.

So here’s a question for anybody who thinks the Confederacy was “honorable”:

How honorable would someone be if they ripped your daughter away from you and sold her as livestock to some stranger to be used as a brood mare by a big strapping male buck? And how honorable would someone be if they sold your daughter’s children resulting from this breeding to other strangers as livestock to either work in the field as a farm animal or be used as breeding stock?

Would that be an honorable person?

Well, look: That’s every goddamn motherfucker who founded the Confederate States of America. It’s not just that they kept humans as livestock. They fucking fought a goddamned war for the right to keep humans as livestock. I don’t have a particularly high opinion of George Washington and Thomas Jefferson because they kept humans as livestock, but at least they didn’t fucking fight a goddamned war for the right to keep humans as livestock. That, at least, is a stain upon their character that they do not possess.

But Robert E. Lee? Jefferson Davis? Alexander Stevens? Those evil-ass motherfuckers can burn in hell, as far as I’m concerned. They’re no more honorable than a pimp or a gang-banger. Hell, they’re fucking *less* honorable than a pimp or a gang-banger — at least the pimp or gang-banger only wants to own women as property, not women and men both.

– Badtux the Honor Penguin

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After multiple incidents where people of color were mistreated by American Airlines, the NAACP has issued a travel warning about the airline.

But of course racism no longer exists in America, nosirree. All those incidents? LOVE! They were because AA *LOVES* black people! LOL.

Meanwhile, Congress votes to re-impose mandatory arbitration upon customers of big banks. Because private courts forced upon people against their will and often time without their knowledge, private courts rigged in favor of large corporations, whose rulings are enforced by government guns, are the way things should be.

And a bit closer to home, Breitbart made up a false story that an immigrate started the deadly Sonoma wildfires. Right now it appears that it was PG&E power lines that sparked off these fires — PG&E’s poles are in horrible condition, often sleepered and sistered to a fare-the-well as they rot in place — and their transformers regularly explode and start fires too. But hey, reality is not necessary here, if there’s an opportunity to be racist, Breitbart is going to take it.

Oh wait, racism no longer exists in America, nosirree.


– Badtux the News Penguin

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The U.S. Supreme Court has never ruled that you have a right to drive on a public highway without a driver’s license or valid vehicle registration.


Not ever.

This is not controversial, unless you are a sovereign citizen dimwit, in which case you spew, “Thompson vs Smith! Campbell versus Walker!”


Thompson vs. Smith was a Virginia state court case in 1930. The question there was whether a police officer or judge could revoke someone’s driver’s license without cause. The Virginia Supreme Court said no — due process rights were vested in a driver’s license, and it could only be revoked for cause via due process. Thompson vs. Smith did *not* state that there was a right to drive upon a public highway without a driver’s license. Rather, it ruled that your driver’s license could not be revoked arbitrarily without cause because that violated due process rights under the Virginia constitution.

Campbell vs. Walker was a Delaware state court case in 1910 and was about whether Walker was negligent when his automobile struck Campbell’s wagon. Both vehicles had a right to be on the road in question because Delaware at the time had no licensing or registration laws, that was mentioned solely in passing while attempting to determine the question of negligence. Walker was sued to pay for Campbell’s medical bills and the wagon. The question before the court was the standards for proving negligence, not whether either party was in compliance with drivers’ licensing laws — there were none in Delaware at the time. At no time did the court rule upon the constitutionality of Delaware’s (at the time non-existent) driver’s licensing law, it was strictly a vehicle liability case and attempting to determine the evidence needed in order to prove liability in such cases.

I stand by my statement: The U.S. Supreme Court has never ruled that you have a right to drive on a public highway without a driver’s license or valid vehicle registration.


Not ever.

– Badtux the “Man, these people are stupid” Penguin

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Another one on Faux News. John Garofalo, 72, did some pro-Trump artwork and claimed to have served seven years as a Navy SEAL during Vietnam with numerous commendations and medals. Turns out, however, that he was lying. He was an aircraft handler — one of those guys wig-waggling the pilot to direct him where to park his plane, and moving planes around on the ground so they could be maintained. He never served in Vietnam. He never was awarded any medals. It was all a lie — a lie so that he could seem like a tough guy down at the VFW, I guess.

What I don’t get is this: What’s the point? When my dad got out of the Navy, he was happy to tell people that the only reason he joined the Navy was to avoid being sent up Hamburger Hill in Korea with a rifle in his hand, and he spent the entire war bobbing safely in the middle of the Pacific in a submarine tender, cooking spuds to serve to squids. He was happy to talk about his adventures — snorkeling in the crystal clear waters around Midway and the gooney birds there that made the whole place a giant shithole as well as made aircraft operations hazardous, a knife fight in San Diego, adventures in Tijuana — but combat? He wanted no part of that, and never claimed to want part of that. Not because he wasn’t an asshole — he was an asshole of major proportions, abusive and negligent in equal measures and ridiculously racist. But he just never had the need to blow himself up that way into something bigger than what he was. He may have been small-minded, but he wasn’t that kind of small-minded.

Not like Garofalo. Or like another person that I know of who has done much the same thing, claiming that injuries he got from an auto accident actually happened in combat, claiming that he was a SEAL when he was actually a cook at a Navy base, that kind of thing. Just baffling.

– Badtux the “WTF is with these people?” Penguin

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So, I turn the corner to go into the urinal, and there’s already somebody there. He’s a recent college grad in his early 20’s. His hands are on his hips, and he’s spraying away. Think about a fire hose for a minute, people. Think about what happens if the fire fighters drop it. Picture that in your head. Now, think about what’s happening in our restroom. And now I know why it’s so disgusting all the time…

But… why did he do this? Why didn’t he hold his firehose and keep it aimed at the urinal? Well, a quick pass through that sewer of the Internet, Reddit, swiftly turned up the answer. In the college dorms, if you hold your hose while urinating, people laugh at you and say you’re masturbating. So to be manly, you have to spray all over the frickin’ restroom. What. The. Fuck.

But the urinal squirters (and their toxic femininity counterpart, the toilet squatters, who’ve been described to me by female acquaintances) are only one aspect of people so insecure about their sexuality that they have to make a big frickin’ mess in the restroom. At least their mess stays in the restroom. Then there’s the shitty assholes.


Men who literally don’t wipe their asses because touching themselves between the cheeks might make them gay.

The tales are a combination of unhygienic living (skidmarks on everything, always, including the bedsheets after lovemaking; the smell is unbelievable) and abusive, reactionary men who blow up at the suggestion that they should be wiping and washing their asses.

Jesus fucking Christ on a goddamn stick, what a bunch of shitty fucking assholes! Literally!

I don’t get it. Why are so many men so insecure that they can’t even fucking hold their dick or wipe their ass for fear of being thought gay? Why are so many men so insecure that they have to harass gay people, for that matter, in order to prove to themselves that they’re not gay?

Most of these men are not gay, people. I’ve never met a gay man who wouldn’t shudder at the thought of skid-marked undies or pee-puddles on a bathroom floor. All I can think is that they’re just sad, sad wanna-be men who lack even basic consideration for anybody around them, nevermind for themselves and their shitty drawers (literally). Ugh. So disgusting…

— Badtux the Disgusted Penguin

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