Archive for the ‘republican lizard people’ Category

What a sexy stud of a man!

Oh wait, no, that was Steve Bannon. Who got fired today, probably because of the gonzo interview he gave to American Prospect, which was a blatant violation of message discipline. My guess is that General Kelly used this as his ammunition to finally shitcan the asswipe. It’s been well known that General Kelly was no fan of Bannon (and vice vice versa). But you can’t just fire one of Cheeto Mussolini’s friends without having some hefty ammo to bring to the battle… and Bannon gave Kelly a fucking dumptruck of ammo.

So now Steve’s shitcanned. Which, given that a) he was probably the smartest dude in the Trump White House, and b) he is totally devoid of any redeeming moral or ethical values, probably is a good thing for America. Evil smart people ought to be kept as far away from the levers of power as possible. Trump’s loss is our gain.

But never fear, Steve always has his good looks to fall back upon! What a genetically superior specimen he is!

Or, plan B, he can go back to work for Breitbart.com again. Gosh, supermodel or Breitbart.com? I wonder which one it will be? 🙂

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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They don’t care about whether the blue-collar workers they hire know how to do the job, they’ll train them. But even with that, employers *still* can’t find enough workers who aren’t dope addicts.

Wow. Just wow. Some of the stories in this article are crazy. They can’t even rely on people passing the drug tests for assuring that they get a reliable employee who won’t OD or show up zoned out on drugs. There’s one employer that says he’s hired over 100 people who passed the drug tests, who got clean for long enough to pass the drug tests, and after six months he’s only got a dozen of those people left, the rest all fell off the wagon and showed up at work stoned or with the works for injecting themselves or whatever and had to be fired.

This is a problem way too big for individual businesses to handle, especially the smaller businesses, like the roofer who can’t find people willing and able to stay clean enough to climb up on roofs and hammer nails. Not brain surgery, but you can’t do it stoned, you’ll fall the fuck off the roof. What the fuck is he supposed to do? He can’t afford to spend tens of thousands of dollars to send employees to rehab clinics! Roofing doesn’t have that kind of profit margin!

In short, this is a problem that government needs to step up and solve, because that’s the whole fucking point of government — to take care of problems too big for individuals to solve. I mean, that’s why we have a fucking military, not just everybody having their own rifles and shotguns and taking care of national defense by themselves — it turns out that building fucking atomic bombs, nevermind tanks and jets and shit, is too big a deal for individuals to do it on their own.

Expecting to hear Republican legislators talking about the laws they’re going to pass to help their constituents beat this narcotics addiction problem in 3 … 2 … 1…. NEVER. Because they’re too busy sneering that all these dope addicts need to just quit using or die, already. In fact, the Republican politicians of many of these states have even talked about cutting off Narcon to people who have had to be resuscitated multiple times. Think I’m kidding? Nope, I’m not kidding. Just let them die. That’s the Republican solution to the opioid crisis.

Yeah, let them die.

I guess that’d solve it. But it’s part and parcel of Republican solutions to every single other problem facing this nation, all of which solutions seem to involve stacking bodies like cordwood ’cause, like, dead bodies give them fucking woodies and shit. Sick sociopathic cold-blooded lizard fucks, the whole lot of them. Bah.

– Badtux the Drug Penguin

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So says Trump’s nominee for a vacancy on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit.

I… have no more words to say. This… DINGBAT… is going to get rubber-stamped by the Republican Senate. And is going to be enforcing religious orthodoxy — her *specific* ultra-conservative religious orthodoxy — for the rest of her life.

We are so fucked.

– Badtux the

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White House communications director Sean Spicer has resigned. It’s been clear for a couple of months now that Spicey had lost Cheeto Mussolini’s confidence. Surrogates including Sarah Huckabee Sanders increasingly took his place briefing the press about the news of the day. But we’ll miss him — his briefings from the bushes, his angry brow-beating of reporters, his inept and clumsy attempts at lies that were so ridiculous on their face that people could just guffaw…

Spicey is an old school kinda dude, rough and hot-headed. You could tell he wasn’t a sociopathic lizard person. He was just an angry old white man doing what angry old white men do. He is undoubtedly going to retire to the suburbs and commence a career of yelling at those darn kids to keep off his grass. His replacement on the other hand, hedge-fund manager Anthony Scaramucci, is a total slicked-back sociopathic lizard person. He oozes sincerity like a kiddie diddler offering a lollipop to a child. He made his bones ripping off old people, slickly convincing them to invest in his poorly-performing hedge fund that, however, paid him big bucks anyhow for his role in leading it. And now he’s going to be doing the same for the Trump administration.

Yeah, I’m gonna miss ole’ Spicey…

– Badtux the Goodbyes Penguin

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Because they pine, pine I say, for the sight of dead bodies. Dead bodies give them a woodie, like the size of a fucking redwood tree. “Yeah, let’s kills us some wrinkled ole’ prunes today!”, chortles Rep. Paul “Catfood Boy” Ryan, as he rubs his hands together with glee. And the sociopaths around him just laugh, laugh I say. Because dead people? They’re fucking funny to these people, who themselves will never suffer because they’re fucking rich and thus don’t give a shit ’cause they don’t have to.

And the Senate Republicans aren’t any better. They want to simply repeal Obamacare — without replacing it with anything at all. According to the CBO, that means 32,000,000 more uninsured people. And according to statistics on death rates in uninsured people versus insured, people, that’s about 30,000 additional dead bodies. But Senator Turtle err Mitch McConnell doesn’t give a shit. ‘Cause he’s a fucking sociopath, differing from Stalin only in the number of people that he wants to kill, not in the fact that he wants to kill them.

Remember, poor sociopaths go to the death chamber here in the United States. Rich ones… they either become Wall Street bankers, or they become politicians. They’re still fucking evil, though.

– Badtux the Sociopath-scryin’ Penguin

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That’s what a survey just found — the majority of Republicans, 58% of’em, think higher education is bad for America. ‘Cause it teaches you that thare book larnin’, not, like, Bible larnin’. Why, you might even stop thinking that the world is flat and an invisible sky demon makes the Sun rise every morning if you got too much of that thare book larnin’.

Now, you might say, what about the America that send men to the Moon and such? How we gonna do shit like that again if we don got no edumacation? But look. We don’t need colleges here in the United States anymore, ’cause we can hire them thare edumacated dot-heads and chinks to do all that nerd work now, and they cain’t vote ’cause they ain’t citizens so they ain’t gonna be votin’ fer school bored members that let that thare evil “science” and “history” stuff into our classrooms. When everbody in this here cuntry gets Bible Studies all school year long (all five days long of it after the budget cuts come through, ’cause we’uns need tax brakes for our bajillionaire job creators, y’all!), then it’s gone be a Christian nation, like, again, or maybe for the first time if them LIE-berals wuz correct about how our founding fathers wuz Deists rather than Christians but hey, everbody knows them thare lie-berals, they’uns LIE.

And when them thare lie-berals say that our glorious leaders are sociopathic lizard people who view us as prey rather than as people and ain’t got our best interests in their hearts by telling us that this hare edumacation stuff is overrated… well, them thare lie-berals just bein’ mean, y’all. That’s all. ‘Cuz Big Brother loves me, I know it’s true, ‘cuz the television, it says so too, just like my preacher man. So thare!

— Bubba the Suthern Penguin

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Paul Krugmen explains:

Back in the 60s and 70s — which I, sad to say, actually remember — there was much talk about the disintegration of the black family and of African-American values more generally, and how that was the root cause of America’s poverty problem. And the social dysfunction was clearly real. But was it cause or effect? William Julius Wilson, in When Work Disappears, famously argued that it was a symptom: good jobs in inner cities, where African-American men could take them, went away, and the cultural changes followed.

So, how could you test that hypothesis? Well, here’s an experiment: change the structure of the economy in such a way that a large class of white men — say, white men without a college degree — similarly lose access to good jobs. If Wilson was right, we’d expect to see a sharp decline in stable marriages, a rise in unwed births, growing drug use, and other forms of social disruption.

Which, uhm, is what we’re seeing amongst poor whites today.

Seems like all the bigots who said poor blacks’ values were the cause of their social dysfunction were just that — bigots. Otherwise they’d be talking about how poor whites’ values are the cause of their social dysfunctions today — the decline in stable marriage amongst poor whites, the rise in unwed births, growing drug use, etc.

Reality: It’s tough being poor. It grinds people down. Communities made up primarily of poor people become dysfunctional in many, many ways. Claiming it’s their values making them poor was a cheap shot then, and it’s a cheap shot now, though it’s a cheap shot that I occasionally make because the parents of these same poor whites whose society is disintegrating were the same bigots who claimed that it was black cultural values that were the cause of social dysfunction in the black community.

But our lizard overlords are great at making us fight each other rather than unite to fight our lizard overlords, so I guess guillotine time is going to be a while. If ever.

– Badtux the Poverty Penguin

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