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Archive for the ‘sociopathic lizard people’ Category

Every Southern town, it seems has its memorial featuring a statue of some Confederate general or another. And whenever you point out that these were evil motherfuckers who fought a war to defend keeping human beings as livestock, I get the invariable whines of “but what if it was *your* ancestor there in the public square?”

Yeah? What if? I’d say the same goddamn thing: Tear the evil sonofabitch’s statue down. These evil motherfuckers killed more Americans than Hitler. You don’t see statues glorifying Hitler in every public square of America, do you? No?

And in fact, one of my ancestors did fight (and die) for the Confederacy. I tracked the family tree back to some dude who moved from North Carolina to the Cajun prairie of Southwest Louisiana in order to breed human beings as livestock. Yep, he had himself a regular business there, he had a big honkin’ stud, a fine collection of brood mares, and made his living renting his stud out to all the plantations in the area when he wasn’t selling the kiddos who popped outta his brood mares. Except these were human beings that he was breeding like livestock.

In short, he was one evil motherfucker. And for his sins, he condemned the next three generations of his family to bone-crushing poverty when he went out to fight to defend his right to own human beings as livestock and promptly got his ass capped by a Union bullet. (Or maybe he just died of dysentery in one of the unsanitary military camps of the area, whatever, all I know is that he never came back). He’d married a Cajun wife, who had been happy to marry this wealthy Anglo and escape her life of poverty. Guess what. She ended up back in the swamps with her relatives again, raising her kiddos, Anglo last name and all, as Cajuns. It always baffled me how my father’s side of the family for three generations back had spoken Cajun French at home as their native language and been raised in the Cajun culture despite their Anglo last name. Now I know. It was the family punishment for my great-great grandpappy’s sin.

Now, if I found out that my great-great grandpappy had been a high muckety muck in the Confederate army, would I want a statue in some public park commemorating his bravery? Fuck no. He was an evil motherfucker who went out to kill Americans in order to maintain the right to treat human beings as livestock. He no more deserves a statue in a public square than Adolph fucking Hitler does. Both wanted to kill Americans in defense of their right to do some evil, evil shit. If my ancestor had a statue on some public square, I’d fucking spit on the goddamn thing. Then pee on it for good measure. Because he was evil, evil, EVIL, and that evil does not need to be glorified in public, it needs to be documented in history books and in museums where that evil can be presented in its proper context.

Fuck these evil American-killing bastards. Melt down their statues for scrap. They were fucking evil, through and through, and deserve no statue, only disdain.

– Badtux the Southern Penguin

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White House communications director Sean Spicer has resigned. It’s been clear for a couple of months now that Spicey had lost Cheeto Mussolini’s confidence. Surrogates including Sarah Huckabee Sanders increasingly took his place briefing the press about the news of the day. But we’ll miss him — his briefings from the bushes, his angry brow-beating of reporters, his inept and clumsy attempts at lies that were so ridiculous on their face that people could just guffaw…

Spicey is an old school kinda dude, rough and hot-headed. You could tell he wasn’t a sociopathic lizard person. He was just an angry old white man doing what angry old white men do. He is undoubtedly going to retire to the suburbs and commence a career of yelling at those darn kids to keep off his grass. His replacement on the other hand, hedge-fund manager Anthony Scaramucci, is a total slicked-back sociopathic lizard person. He oozes sincerity like a kiddie diddler offering a lollipop to a child. He made his bones ripping off old people, slickly convincing them to invest in his poorly-performing hedge fund that, however, paid him big bucks anyhow for his role in leading it. And now he’s going to be doing the same for the Trump administration.

Yeah, I’m gonna miss ole’ Spicey…

– Badtux the Goodbyes Penguin

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No, I’m not joking. A guest on Alex Jones’s show claims that NASA has a slave colony on Mars populated with kidnapped children.

Kidnapped children.

Sent to Mars.

A planet that we still haven’t sent people to, because it will require an effort bigger and more expensive than Apollo to send humans there, and Apollo consumed 5% of the nation’s budget at its peak. NASA’s budget has been infinitesimal ever since. Where did they get the money to send these child slaves to Mars? Apparently from thin air, I guess.

And Alex Jones did no pushback at all at this batshit insanity. He is one of our President’s most trusted news sources. As is the National Enquirer. Whose current owner is friends with Donald Trump, and Donald Trump has threatened reporters with hit pieces in the Enquirer if they report things he doesn’t want reported. Frankly, we haven’t seen anything this bizarre since it was revealed that Nancy Reagan used astrologers to make big decisions for the Reagan White House. But Nancy was just the First Lady. Not the President.

We are so, so fucked.

– Badtux the Waddling Penguin

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I mean, who wants to live on this sucky world anyhow when we can have JEEEEEzus take us home, glory hallelujah, AMEN!

At least, that’s what this Fox news bimbo appears to be saying. We’re all going to die someday, dying sooner just gets us to Jesus faster, hallelujah!

And allows tax breaks for the rich.

Anywho, the CBO, as I mentioned before, says 22 million Americans will become uninsured if the Senate bill were passed as-is. So the question is, how many people would end up dying because of that?

We actually have numbers about the death rates of insured versus uninsured people. So: they estimate that in 2005 Census, 44,789 deaths occurred due to lack of health insurance. That was when there was a population of 46.6 million Americans uninsured. Thus that’s 995 additional deaths per million uninsured.

Thus the Senate bill kills 21,890 people by depriving them of healthcare.

But hey, tax cuts for the rich are more important than human lives, right?

– Badtux the Disgusted Penguin

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We should be grateful, I suppose. They could kill more, after all. It’s what cold-blooded lizard people from planet Sociopath do — come up with new and better ways to kill human beings, who they view as prey, not as fellow travelers in life.

So, the Congressional Budget Office has now scored the new Republican health care plan. Here’s what they conclude:

  1. Massive tax cuts for billionaires
  2. Massive tax hikes for non-billionaires (the “healthcare tax”, which may not be taken out of your paycheck by government, but it’s taken out of your paycheck nevertheless).
  3. 1/6th of the population uninsured as the individual health insurance marketplace goes into a *literal* death spiral and
    those on Medicaid lose their coverage.

    But hey, I’m sure all that money that the billionaires get as tax cuts will trickle down to the rest of us, just like it has during the past 30 years of stagnant or declining real salaries for white males… i.e., just like a two-story outhouse.

    Alrighty, then!

    – Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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Bay Area McDonald’s will serve large orders of French fries in limited-edition rainbow boxes for Pride Month, June 2017. (Photo courtesy of McDonald’s of the Greater Bay Area)

Yep, that’s what the preacher who got upset about Starbucks cups is upset about now. McDonalds french fries are gay!

Uhm…. say whuh? I mean, do these french fries copulate with each other or something? How do you sex a french fry to know they’re doing the nasty with the same sex, anyhow? They don’t have any externally visible genitalia!

Then he says that maybe McDonalds should serve some Christian french fries. Uhm. They’re french fries. They’re food. Food doesn’t have a religion. You eat it, you don’t worship it. (Though I must admit that some of the food I’ve eaten over the years has been worthy of worship, thinking about some places in the French QUarter that I ate in over the decades, then a New Mexican place in South Phoenix…). Since when do fried potatoes have a religion? Is this dude dotty or something? (Answer: Yes.)

Meanwhile, the gay wedding cake case is going to the Supreme Court. The baker’s argument is that, apparently, a cake is speech. Say wha? I could have sworn that a cake was food! Since when is a food speech? Something you do with a food might be speech — for example, throwing a lemon pie at a piñata of Donald Trump. But a food itself? It’s just food. Something you eat for nourishment (or at least enjoyment). Duh.

I mean, what’s the difference between a gay wedding cake and just a plain old wedding cake? I guess a gay wedding cake is fabulous, sure. But it’s a cake. It doesn’t do any mano a mano sexual acts with other cakes, because, like, it lacks arms, and legs, and external genitalia, and reproductive organs, and …. So gay cake sex must be boring as hell. They just lay on each other waiting to be eaten? WTF?

Man, these tighty whitey righties could have chosen anything on the universe to get upset about — war, famine, poverty, Remy Ma beating Nicki Minaj at the BET Awards– but they chose food? For realz? Man. You couldn’t make this up. If I wrote this as part of a novel, the editor would return it right back to me saying “too unrealistic, nobody could be so small-minded as to get upset by food items.”

Yet there they are.

Food.

What a thing to get upset by. Sheesh!

– Badtux the Baffled Penguin

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Healthcare? I don’t think so!

Basically:

1) It guts Medicaid
2) It reduces the subsidies to middle class
3) It eliminates all the mandates *except* the mandate that insurers must insure all takers.
4) It gives people like Donald Trump gazillions of dollars in tax cuts.

The Republican plan basically kills all rural hospitals. Every single one of them. By cutting off the Medicaid funding that keeps them operating. So rural voters, who voted overwhelmingly for Trump, will have their healthcare killed altogether by Trump.

So basically, here’s what happens:
1) Lots of rural poor people die.
2) Nobody buys insurance until they get sick
3) Insurance companies go into a death spiral, and collapse or pull out of the individual marketplaces
4) Profit! (If you’re rich).

Ah yes, America. Where the feeling seems to be that rich people don’t have enough money, and poor people have too much health care.
Ah yes, America, where the voters vote for the Alligators Eating People Party, then get surprised when alligators show up at their doorstep to eat them.

Alrighty, then!

– Badtux the Disgusted Penguin

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