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So, I found out that John McCain had brain cancer. Furthermore, it’s a brain cancer that will likely kill him within the next 18 months, one we currently don’t know how to cure. A friend of mine died of that same brain cancer, as did Teddy Kennedy. It was a kind death, as deaths go, he was not in pain, but his last couple of months were rather… confused… as the cancer chewed up his brain. He died when it hit some part of the brain critical to the functioning of his body. Bye bye, then.

I didn’t say anything about it at the time, because I felt sorry for the old man, but I’m not much of one for being able to express that in the form of a blog post. But now I find out that the alt-right is chortling and celebrating McCain’s illness. Meaning I can now make a post about how they are deplorable people.

Which, of course, they are.

Read the alt-right nastiness on that page. Read it. These are disgusting evil people. I don’t use that word “evil” lightly. I never, for example, used it about George W. Bush, who I considered to be often inept and sometimes mean-spirited but never outright evil. But these alt-right motherfuckers… they are fucking evil. They are the kind of people who would push a small child off a dock into the water then laugh and take selfies as he splashed and drowned behind them. They are the kind of people who would grab a frog and pull all its legs off while the frog was still alive, just to watch it thrash around in pain and die. They are the kind of people who would, if they thought they could get away with it, go on shooting sprees killing minorities just for the fun of it. They are, to put it bluntly, a pestilence upon our civilization.

And their God-Emperor is our President.

We are so, so, so fucked…

— Badtux the Waddling Penguin

Bye bye, Spicey Spice

White House communications director Sean Spicer has resigned. It’s been clear for a couple of months now that Spicey had lost Cheeto Mussolini’s confidence. Surrogates including Sarah Huckabee Sanders increasingly took his place briefing the press about the news of the day. But we’ll miss him — his briefings from the bushes, his angry brow-beating of reporters, his inept and clumsy attempts at lies that were so ridiculous on their face that people could just guffaw…

Spicey is an old school kinda dude, rough and hot-headed. You could tell he wasn’t a sociopathic lizard person. He was just an angry old white man doing what angry old white men do. He is undoubtedly going to retire to the suburbs and commence a career of yelling at those darn kids to keep off his grass. His replacement on the other hand, hedge-fund manager Anthony Scaramucci, is a total slicked-back sociopathic lizard person. He oozes sincerity like a kiddie diddler offering a lollipop to a child. He made his bones ripping off old people, slickly convincing them to invest in his poorly-performing hedge fund that, however, paid him big bucks anyhow for his role in leading it. And now he’s going to be doing the same for the Trump administration.

Yeah, I’m gonna miss ole’ Spicey…

– Badtux the Goodbyes Penguin

Trump campaigned on not arming people in Syria. Because they’re bad hombres. All of them. Well, believe it or not, he finally delivered on that campaign promise.

Sure, it makes Russia happy. I’m sure that Putin is chortling. But honestly, this was one of the occasions where Trump was right during the campaign. We had no business getting involved in the Syrian Civil War in the first place. Assad never did anything to us. Hell, compared to his daddy, who was a genuine son-of-a-bitch who massacred half the population of Hama for having the audacity to embrace the Muslim Brotherhood, Assad is a puppy dog. By the standard of Middle Eastern leaders, he’s a frickin’ saint. Our asshole “allies” in Saudi Arabia do worse shit than Assad was doing before the civil war inbetween rounds of golf.

So yeah, let’s quit arming sides in that civil war. If we want to fuck up ISIS, we don’t need some asshole who’s just as likely to switch sides as fight ISIS anyhow. The only people we know are effective at fighting ISIS and aren’t assholes are the Kurds, and arming them opens up all sort of geopolitical whup-ass especially with Turkey. Which is why we should do it — pissing off dictators is always fun as hell — but the CIA’s program wasn’t arming the Kurds. Because they always back losers. Always. Just ask anybody in Southeast Asia….

– Badtux the Campaign Promise Cop Penguin

In Thailand, a corrupt official was found guilty of human trafficking.

Seems pretty straightforward, if unusual. How often do corrupt officials end up going to jail, anyhow? Not darn often.

But reading more on the case, I found out something interesting: In Thailand, if you are a government official and are convicted of a crime committed while in office, your punishment is automatically doubled. We need a law like this here in the United States. Maybe that would keep some of our corrupt politicians from going bad so fast.

Of course, first we would have to actually have convictions for our politicians who are corrupt…

– Badtux the “Well, there goes THAT suggestion!” Penguin

Wait, this is a Safeway store-brand pizza?

Okay, so this is a Safeway house brand, as you can see in the photo to the right. First thoughts upon taking it out of the box: “Wow, this has a lot of pepperoni on it!” And indeed, that is what it tastes like — oodles of greasy yummy pepperoni, and a fair amount of cheese to go with it to keep it from becoming totally obnoxious.

Too bad about the sauce. It is completely overwhelmed by all this pepperoni and cheese. I have no idea what it tastes like. As for the crust… it’s nicely crunchy, but that’s all it adds. It is basically overwhelmed and adds nothing.

Still, if you love pepperoni and cheese, this Safeway brand pizza will definitely fill your craving!

– Badtux the Pizza Penguin

And this time, he accidentally caught himself on his own bodycam planting the drugs. It turns out that the bodycams are *always* recording. They just don’t keep the recordings longer than 30 minutes or so unless you press the “record” button — at which point it keeps the recording, *plus* thirty seconds prior. Thirty seconds during which he was planting the drugs.

Oops!

Baltimore Police Officer Richard Pinheiro apparently is still an active officer with the Baltimore Police Department. Apparently the only way the Baltimore PD will take you off the street is if you’re caught on camera murdering someone or raping someone. And probably not even then.

And people wonder why Officer Friendly has a bad rep today?!

– Badtux the “Police state, y’all” Penguin

This time it’s in Kentucky. This glorious example of Republican hypocrisy is named David Narramore, 54, of Whitesburg, Kentucky. His mistake: he crossed the state line into Johnson City, Tennessee (gosh, how appropriate a name!) and waved his teeny weenie at… uhm… a male loss prevention officer in the next stall. Who promptly took him to the loss prevention office and called the cops. Then when the cops showed up, this glorious example of law abiding citizen resisted arrest and had to be tasered and, when that didn’t work, he got his ass beaten down by the cops until they got his tighty whitey self locked, stuffed, and booked.

Sheesh. Are there any of these anti-gay crusader types who ain’t gayer than the gay mayor of Gaytown?!

– Badtux the Baffled Penguin