So, I turn the corner to go into the urinal, and there’s already somebody there. He’s a recent college grad in his early 20’s. His hands are on his hips, and he’s spraying away. Think about a fire hose for a minute, people. Think about what happens if the fire fighters drop it. Picture that in your head. Now, think about what’s happening in our restroom. And now I know why it’s so disgusting all the time…

But… why did he do this? Why didn’t he hold his firehose and keep it aimed at the urinal? Well, a quick pass through that sewer of the Internet, Reddit, swiftly turned up the answer. In the college dorms, if you hold your hose while urinating, people laugh at you and say you’re masturbating. So to be manly, you have to spray all over the frickin’ restroom. What. The. Fuck.

But the urinal squirters (and their toxic femininity counterpart, the toilet squatters, who’ve been described to me by female acquaintances) are only one aspect of people so insecure about their sexuality that they have to make a big frickin’ mess in the restroom. At least their mess stays in the restroom. Then there’s the shitty assholes.


Men who literally don’t wipe their asses because touching themselves between the cheeks might make them gay.

The tales are a combination of unhygienic living (skidmarks on everything, always, including the bedsheets after lovemaking; the smell is unbelievable) and abusive, reactionary men who blow up at the suggestion that they should be wiping and washing their asses.

Jesus fucking Christ on a goddamn stick, what a bunch of shitty fucking assholes! Literally!

I don’t get it. Why are so many men so insecure that they can’t even fucking hold their dick or wipe their ass for fear of being thought gay? Why are so many men so insecure that they have to harass gay people, for that matter, in order to prove to themselves that they’re not gay?

Most of these men are not gay, people. I’ve never met a gay man who wouldn’t shudder at the thought of skid-marked undies or pee-puddles on a bathroom floor. All I can think is that they’re just sad, sad wanna-be men who lack even basic consideration for anybody around them, nevermind for themselves and their shitty drawers (literally). Ugh. So disgusting…

— Badtux the Disgusted Penguin


Sexual harassment.

There’s a lot of women tweeting “#MeToo” to signify that they’ve been victims of sexual harassment. Much fewer men, and for most of them, it was when they were young and not full grown. Women report sexual harassment at all ages.

There are men who are regularly harassed but these are men who are gay or trans for the most part and don’t “look” right to those who have a certain image of masculinity. I’m not sure whether to call this sexual harassment or not. The main difference as compared with the sexual harassment that women endure is that the goal of the harasser is not to have sex with the person being harassed, but, rather, the goal of the harasser may be to submerge or deny his own desires to have sex with the person being harassed. That is, the harasser is trying to *avoid* sex with the person being harassed despite an obvious attraction (because I mean, who obsesses about gay sex except gay people? Closets, folks).

But the one commonality here is men. Too many men are dicks. Pure and simple. Just sayin’.

– Badtux the Harassment Penguin

The most dangerous place for a reporter to be in America today is at a protest. Not because they’re attacked by protesters. Rather, because police officers regularly attack the press at protests and regularly destroy their equipment. 1st Amendment guarantee of a free press? The Constitution is just a piece of paper, right?

Meanwhile, even when reporters do get the story, media outlets are afraid to print investigative reporting about oligarchs because the oligarchs own the courts and can put them out of business.

Indiana proposes licensing only “responsible” people to be reporters. Presumably any reporter who dares report on a protest or reports things the oligarchs don’t want reported is “irresponsible”.

And of course the Orange Racist Russian Stooge keeps trumpeting that any media critical of him is “fake” and his deplorable followers regularly threaten reporters.

Combined with the fact that most reporters now aren’t full-time staffers of newspapers, they’re part-time stringers for wire services who don’t have access to the legal resources of a major media outlet, and you get a serious issue where proper reporting is being suppressed by the government and the government’s supporters.

One of the first things that fascist regimes try to do is shut down any media that’s critical of them. Erdogan has done that in Turkey, and it appears the deplorables and their God-Emperor Donald the Trump are bound and determined to see that happen here too. Because remember, people. The Constitution, and the 1st Amendment that it contains, is just a piece of paper.

Or is it that the Constitution just has one paragraph, the 2nd Amendment?

So confusing!

– Badtux the Press Penguin

Out of the shadows

Hope Sandoval has spent most of her career in music in the shadows. Literally, in the shadows. As in, not allowing the house lights to be turned on, not allowing a spotlight to be turned on her, not allowing cameras or videotaping…. she spent most of her career hiding in the shadows.

But there was one time when she could not hide.

It was 1994, and Mazzy Star agreed to play the Bridge School benefit concert. The concert was scheduled for mid-afternoon, and the Shoreline Amphitheatre is an open-air venue. And there was a camera crew filming everything for the benefit concert tape that was going to be sold for further revenue.

The result was shy and beautiful.

– Badtux the Music Penguin

So, there’s been lots of necklace-wringing lately about how the evangelical Right has been “corrupted” by Trumpism. As Justin Rosaria points out, the evangelical Right were terrible people well before Trump came along. Thing is, he doesn’t go back far enough. Not by far enough by any means.

The Southern Baptist Convention was created in order to defend slavery as “biblically correct.”

That’s not my opinion. That’s a matter of historical fact that can be easily verified by looking at the original charter of the SBC and as much as admitted in 1995 when the SBC issued an apology for defending slavery. That is the Original Sin behind modern conservative evangelical churches: Most of them split off from liberal evangelical churches in order to defend slavery.

My point is that an institution that was founded to defend evil is always going to be stained by that evil, regardless of how many apologies they issue. Words are cheap. If all you do is bend knee and proclaim Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, but then get up and don’t try to live like Jesus, you didn’t *really* accept Jesus — you just hypocritically muttered some words. Or as Jesus said in Luke 6:49: “But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation.”

The SBC and their fellow brethren claim to have heard His words, but I will believe they have accepted them only when I see acts that reflect such. And I haven’t seen such acts. Just words.

— Badtux the Religion Penguin

When I was a small child, my father told me that the difference between us and the Soviets was that we were free to travel within our country, while the Soviets had people on street corners demanding “your papers”.

But that was then, and this is now. Which is why I’m glad that the ACLU is suing the federal government over the communist-level bullshit that they’re doing nowadays like requiring that all passengers show ID in order to exit a jet plane, even if I doubt it’ll do much good given our current Supreme Kangaroo Court that just rubber-stamps anything the government wants to do.

And of course 2/3rds of America live in the “Constitution-Free Zone” imposed by Customs and Border Protection agents within 100 miles of the nation’s borders.

So it goes….

– Badtux the Pessimistic Penguin

Today is Hug A Black Cat For Good Luck Day. I hugged my black cat today. What about you?

– Badtux the Cat-owned Penguin