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Cops are quick to say that if it wasn’t for them, we would be overrun with criminals. That overlooks two things: Misters Smith, Wesson, Colt, Winchester, and Mossberg, all of which are more effective at stopping crime than a cop who is 30 minutes away, and the fact that cops suck at doing their job in the first place — they manage arrests and convictions in only 2% of major crimes.

I want effective cops, cops who catch and convict criminals, not cops who think their job is killing unarmed black men and beating dirty hippies. But it seems like I am not going to get my wish. Today’s undertrained roid raging officers aren’t capable of getting the job done. It’s time to re-think policing and start over from scratch because it’s clear today’s police are incapable of reform — we have been trying for decades, and it just ain’t happening.

— Badtux the Pragmatic Penguin

May be an image of text that says '1,161ews.13h WORKER.EXE HAS CRASHED UNEXPECTEDLY Next WORKER. YOU STRESS LEVELS ARE RISING. YOUR PERFORMANCE IS FALLING. REPORT TO THE MINDFULNESS BOX FOR A BREATHING EXERCISE IMMEDIATELY. THIS TIME WILL BE DEDUCTED FROM YOUR BREAK. Gizmodo Gizmodo 1d Amazon Introduces 'AmaZen' and Zen Booths for Its Overworked Warehouse Staff dlvr.it/ dlvr.it/SZC6f Mindful Practice Room FASTENM torecharge the internal battery.1'

Amazon noticed that workers were taking too long of breaks to pump milk, make quick phone calls home, etc., so they have installed these portable break rooms closer to where their serfs err workers are working in order to reduce the time it takes to get to a break room.

— Badtux the Serfin’ USA Penguin

“These are people who go out everyday and do a job most of us shutter at as it is incredibly dangerous, all while trying to keep our streets and cities safe for the law abiding people! You seriously are trying to compare a police officer’s job hazards to a carpenter? A roofer? Or fishermen?? Wow! I guess I live in a different “bubble”.”  — Judy in Newark CA

Dear Judy:

I’m talking about actual numbers from OSHA and actual numbers that I personally compiled from the Officer Down Memorial Page, which claims to have information on every single police officer who dies in the course of duty. They both say that the job of police officer is not as dangerous as many other jobs with similar educational requirements and you have a much lower chance of being murdered as a police officer as you would have as an average citizen of Oakland, California. If you refuse to believe the numbers because they do not agree with your personal biases… (shrug). The numbers remain the numbers.

I will say that the job of a police officer is not easy. It’s a job that requires a combination of both diplomacy and firmness to be done correctly, and you’re usually dealing with people who are… unpleasant. But the numbers don’t lie — it’s not even in the top ten of most dangerous jobs, whether you use OSHA’s numbers or plug the raw data from ODMP into a spreadsheet yourself.

If your police officer friends say different, ask them how many officers they’ve personally known who died on duty, and what did they die of. My guess is that no police officer of your personal acquaintance has ever been murdered while on duty — only three Fremont police officers have ever died in the line of duty all back in 1970’s, one of them was a heart attack and two of them were auto accidents, while no Newark police officer has ever died in the line of duty, and the last Alameda County Sheriff’s Department deputy who was killed in the line of duty was Deputy Sheriff John Paul Monego who was murdered on duty in December 1998 and is the only Alameda County sheriff’s deputy to ever be murdered on duty in the past 100 years. Most current police officers in the Fremont and Newark police departments have never personally known any police officer who was killed in the line of duty for good reason — because it’s a fairly rare event.

– Badtux the Alameda County Penguin

During 2020, at least 110 American journalists were arrested or criminally charged in relation to their reporting, and around 300 journalists were assaulted, the majority by law enforcement, according to the U.S. Press Freedom Tracker, of which CPJ is a founding member. The Tracker is working to verify more than 930 total incidents in 79 cities.

These are numbers that you would expect from a 3rd world police state upset about press coverage of their heavy-handed actions, not from a supposed advanced democracy. About the only ray of sunshine in the whole situation is that while American journalists were arrested in unprecedented numbers last year, at least they were not being summarily executed.

Yet.

— Badtux the Serfin’ USA Penguin

May be an image of 9 people, beard and text that says 'DRURAK Abdolvahab Alaghmandan Adrian Balleza Alex Fritch Jose HernandezII Lars Lane Paul Megia Taptejdeep Singh Timothy Romo Michael Rudometkin'

These nine men were shot in a mass murder at the VTA train yard in San Jose, California, on Wednesday.

They are not just faces on a screen to me. Lars was a friend of a member of the Jeep club that I belong to, and we’d swapped tales over a campfire many times when Lars came to our get-togethers as a guest.

And now he’s dead. Because some fucking asshole with a gun decided that he should have the power to take someone else’s life over some perceived slight, and that fucking asshole Matt Gaetz then <a href=”https://www.orlandosentinel.com/politics/os-ne-matt-gaetz-tells-supporters-use-second-amendment-against-big-tech-20210528-m3ggokvt7fardgce3lm5sgkpna-story.html”>says that his supporters should do similar things against Big Tech</a> over their perceived slights against right wing fuckwads like Matt Gaetz.

Because my buddy Lars isn’t real to that fucking asshole Matt Gaetz. My buddy Lars is just collateral damage in that fucking treasonous assholes’ fucking war against the majority of Americans in America.

Fuck Matt Gaetz, good and hard. Too bad there isn’t actually a Hell (that’s another story for another time), because if there was and I was the God Jehovah of the Old Testament, I wouldn’t wait for that fucking douchebag to die. I’d just grab his fucking ass and throw him straight to Hell right now, to join his asshole buddy who decided to shoot up a train yard because fucking assholes like Matt Gaetz say it’s a-okay to shoot people who you feel have dissed you.

These people are dangerous, and their body count is only going to rise, and about all I can do about that is rant on the goddamn Internet. I guess that’s what it has to be, though, because apparently inciting armed revolt against the country is no longer a crime. At least, <a href=”https://www.cbsnews.com/news/january-6-commission-bill-capitol-riot-senate-republicans-block/”>that’s what the majority of Republicans in the Senate say</a>.

We are so fucked.

– Badtux the Saddened Penguin

The ferals of the TuxBerg gather to eat soft fud after I take in the kibble to keep it from being eaten by skunks and possums.

May be an image of cat

Two other ferals also showed up: Donnie, an orange asshole who is named after the obvious person, and Mango, a sweet orange tuxie. But they weren’t in this picture, they showed up later.

– Badtux the Non-owning Penguin

So as COVID-19 dies out, some companies are pushing to bring employees who’ve been working successfully at home for over a year now back into the office.

The most obnoxious excuse for this is “corporate culture”. Dude. The only corporate culture that counts is getting shit done. If that’s your corporate culture, your corporation succeeds. If that’s not your corporate culture, your corporation is fucked.

You don’t build a corporate culture of getting shit done with “team building” exercises and “corporate luncheons”. Those actually get in the way of getting shit done, because they’re time sinks taking up time where, well, shit could be getting done. Rather, you build a corporate culture of getting shit done by rewarding and encouraging getting shit done, rather than with all this woo woo bullshit that HR departments put on to justify their existence.

Which is the point, really. The point for most companies isn’t that shit isn’t getting done while people are at home. Major corporations made record profits last year while everybody was working from home. The point, rather, is for a useless layer of middle managers to be able to justify their jobs, especially the useless people over in HR who are all about “team building” and such. It’s about welfare for the useless, except these useless have college degrees and are good at glad-handing upper management so instead of public welfare, they get corporate welfare – as long as they can continue scamming upper management into thinking there’s a reason that they exist.

Meanwhile I have my letter from my boss, who is a co-founder of the company, saying my job doesn’t require me to be at the office and that this will continue after COVID-19 restrictions are done. And I’m happy. Because now I can get shit done without being interrupted by people demanding I fix this that or the other *right now* for them. They can open a trouble ticket and go into the queue like everybody else without harassing me about it, and so I can get shit done without being constantly interrupted, which is exactly what I want to be doing when I’m working.

– Badtux the Grumpily Employed Penguin

It seems to me that 100% of all patrol officer jobs could be replaced with minimum wage rent-a-cops contracted from Mall Cops R Us without affecting public safety at all. In my city 46% of all city discretionary spending goes to our police department. We could cut that down significantly by firing 90% of the police force and sending out mall cops to respond to most calls. That savings would also allow hiring a real crisis intervention team, one staffed with social workers and psychologists and such expert in talking down people undergoing a mental health crisis rather than simply shooting them like cops today.

The other 10%, well, we need them. That’s the detectives and the SWAT team, basically. But the SWAT team shouldn’t be the first people on the scene.

I mean, this isn’t *that* novel of an idea. Most cities used to have their own sanitation department that handled trash pickup. Almost all cities today instead contract that out to private businesses. Trash pickup is just as important as police protection – just ask anybody who’s ever lived in a place that had a garbage collector strike. So why should police be immune to the same market forces that led to privatization of trash pickup?

What do you think?

– Badtux the Alternatives Penguin

Reminder: Chili is a spiced beef stew thickened with masa flour and eaten with crackers (well, traditionally hardtack, but for the sake of dental work everywhere, we do crackers now). It is *not* bean soup. It does *not* have hamburger meat in it — it has chunks of actual beef stew meat in it. It is *not* served over rice or with cornbread. We’re talking about a dish created by Texas cowboys who were herding cattle and had access to dead cows and hardtack and Mexican spices and maybe Mexican masa flour for corn tortillas if they were lucky, not a dish created by a housewife in the Midwest.

What you people are talking with the beans and hamburger meat is spaghetti sauce, not chili.

– Badtux the Culinary Penguin

Ground Beef Cooking TipsPressure Cooker Chili Con Carne * Kitchen ALDaptationThe one on the left goes into spaghetti sauce. The one on the right goes into chili.

May be an image of 5 people and text that says 'I made Twitter Imade Facebook I made Apple That's nice, guys. I made Jimi Hendrix.'

None of those guys made Twitter, Facebook, or Apple. Rather, the thousands of talented engineers that they hired made Twitter, Facebook, and Apple. Jack, Zuck, and Steve were just good at a) scamming investors to give them the money to hire those engineers, and b) scamming the general public into believing that Jack, Zuck, and Steve were anything other than glib scam artists to begin with.

Meanwhile, Jimi’s mom actually *did* make Jimi, with a little help from a sperm donor. Spent nine months baking him in the womb, far more work than any of those scam artists ever did in their entire life.

When it comes to creators, I rank Jimi’s mom way above any of the glib scam artist “tech titans” who’ve managed to convince the world that they did something other than manage to successfully scam people. Hell, Facebook wasn’t even a novel or revolutionary concept, there were thousands of bulletin board systems before it which did much the same thing. The only reason Facebook took off is that MySpace got bought out by a giant corporation that didn’t understand social media and managed to kill it. Otherwise Facebook would have remained Zuck’s “rank the women on campus” web site with no audience and no users.

– Badtux the “Scammers gotta scam I guess” Penguin