Tool good. Ugh.

(Cue Tim Allen grunt).

I spent most of the day looking at battery-powered drills. I need one because getting a power cord out to my Jeep while I drill holes in it to mount things like a CB radio, a better license plate holder, etc. has proven to be quite impractical due to the fact that my iceberg is currently docked at an apartment complex. Now, I have a general philosophy. Cheap tools are worse than no tools. I’ve been let down by cheap tools far, far too many times. Nowdays when it comes to power tools, I only go for the big guys — Makita, Milwaukee, DeWalt.

I’m partial to Makita because those Japs are fanatics when it comes to craftsmanship of their power tools, and Makita is the #1 tool folks in Japan. I have a Makita circular saw that, every time I pull it out of its case, I am literally in awe of just how perfect it is as a circular saw. It is powerful, lightweight, well balanced, has a beautiful setup for the rip guide and other guides, and is otherwise worth every penny I paid for it, which was probably three times as much as a cheap Black & Decker but this thing will be passed down for generations. So I must admit I had a bias towards Makita in the first place. But when I encountered this drill — which weighs the same as a 12 volt drill, but has the power of an 18 volt drill — I knew I had found it.

Tool good. Ugh!

Tomorrow I get to use it. I have some self-tapping screws to use for the new license plate holder, after I drill the proper holes in the front bumper. Then I am moving the CB radio junction box from the passenger side to the driver’s side, and drilling a hole in the kick panel next to the transmission tunnel to mount the microphone jack and running the power through the plenum to under the hood and to the battery instead of piggy-backed off of another fuse the way it is now (piggy-backing is bad because it gives more opportunity for noise). I have no doubt that this drill will perform admirably at both tasks. I’ve played with it a little now that I got it home, and like its circular saw brother, this thing is what a highly portable drill used for installing stuff like this is supposed to be. Those Japs done created yet another perfect tool. Sorry, Milwaukee. Sorry, Porter. You snooze, you lose!

— Badtux the Tool Penguin

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What he said

Thought I’d just repeat Da Fixer’s injunction for those two or three people on this planet who still worship Dear Leader from the safety of their momma’s basement:

Lose the Cheetos and finish the keg, lardass. Off momma’s couch, drop the game controller, and head down to the recruiter’s office. Move it! Move it!

I know a whole buncha guys who still have “W-’04” stickers on their F-150s and Tahoes who are young and able-bodied enough to help our guys out. You know who you are, the ones who go around saying we should ‘kill all the ragheads’. The guys with the good union jobs who wouldn’t give that up for $25-grand a year and a tent in the desert, though they can talk tough over a six-pack at lunch.

Talk is cheap. Our Army and Marine Corps are at the breaking point. ‘Supporting’ the troops with a yellow ribbon on your pickup just won’t cut it anymore. At this point, put up or shut up.

And for all you wingnut bloggers who are ‘fighting the war of ideas online’, the Chimp’s gonna do what he’s gonna do and he doesn’t need cheerleaders anymore – no one’s listening to you anyway, nobody believes your horseshit anymore. Time for you to trade keyboard for rifle. We need sharpshooters more than bullshitters.

If you support this war and you’re not prepared to go and ‘kill some ragheads’, shut the fuck up and let us figure out a way to end it, you spineless turds.

What he said, except more politely since, unlike him, I ain’t some ex-Special-Forces type with the street cred to spout off like that 🙂 .

– Badtux the Admiring Penguin

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My presidential campaign committee at work

I attempt to bribe my exploratory campaign coordinator with a fine ear-rub. Meanwhile, my exploratory campaign press secretary and organizational director relaxes after a hard day of work…

Both of my top campaign officials advise that you go see the Infinite Cat Project, starting with cat #1 and going all the way to cat #1392. Especially read the words of wisdom below each cat.

Both of my top campaign officials also advise me that I should dump Opus the Penguin as my potential Vice Presidential candidate and instead select Bill the Cat. They point out that while a penguin would help solidify the all-important Linux geek voting bloc, that having two penguins on the ticket would not gain more voters. A cat, on the other hand, would attract the all-important cat lady demographic. The fact that Bill the Cat is flea-bitten, brain-addled, and hacks up hairballs all the time would not dissuade them a bit, at our campaign outings they would all rush to pet the sweet little kittie and if he hacked up a hairball all over them, why, they’d clean it right up and say what a sweet kitty he is and hug and cuddle him.

Hmm, on the other hand, would I really want a Veep candidate who would upstage me at campaign events? There’s also one other chilling thing that I read at the Infinite Cat page:

“Cats are kindly masters, just so long as you remember your place.”- Paul Gray

Shudder. Of course, it wouldn’t be the first time that the vice presidential candidate was the one running the show…

— Badtux the “Ain’t Decided Yet” Penguin

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Republican Presidential hopefuls line up

Latest is Representative Duncan Hunter (R-Tancredoville). Who? Uhm, exactly.

In other news, my apartment complex’s gardener has not yet announced his candidacy for the Presidency, but has formed an exploratory committee comprised of the maintenance man, the office secretary, and his wife to detirmine whether he has as much a chance as the rest of the Republican field. Says he, “My name is Jesus, surely that will get me at least a few votes in the South?” Being a kind and charitable penguin, I did not inform him that Southerners prefer their Jesus dead and trapped inside the pages of a book, and certainly don’t want to see him or listen to his words, because then they might, like, actually have to live up to the faith they claim to adhere to.

On a more personal note, I have formed an exploratory committee consisting of myself, my cat Fang, and my cat Mencken, to explore whether I should run for the Presidency. The first question was what party to run under. Eventually that was resolved: I shall run as the nominee of the Birthday Party (assuming I win the party’s nomination). The current hangup is whether penguins can actually run for office. Once we’ve figured that one out, then I can announce yay or nay.

My vice presidential candidate, should I decide, will be Opus the Penguin. Free herring for all shall be our campaign slogan. Herring. Yum. BURRP!!!

— Badtux the Presidential Penguin

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World Nut Daily: Lincoln still lives

That’s the headline on the “News burst” they just sent me, anyhow. Wow. That must be harsh, a 250-year-old Lincoln lurching around the countryside with his head blown off by that John Wilkes Boothe dude.

In other news, the UFO’s that World Nut Daily was printing (typing?) breathless headlines about turned out to be… uh… phosphorus flares fired from A-10’s during a training exercise.

Oh well, guess we aren’t going to get to meet our alien overlords after all. Though the following photo might contradict that statement:

Note the Eye Lasers of Death on that model of the T-1240 Klingon Ambassador droid, and the Dominatrix Boots of Domination upon its feet. Woot!

— Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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How to know you’ve bought too much shit over the Internet….

you no longer have to pull your card out to punch in the credit card number and security code.

And my card gently weeps…

— Badtux the Internet-enabled Penguin

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The Chimperor to military families

Left: Bush’s message to Iraq / Afghanistan war veterans

Okay, so I’m over-using the image. But what other image would be appropriate, when we find that Defense Department officials have laid off most of their case workers who help severely injured service members? What other picture would adequately express the attitude towards veterans of a Commander-in-Chief who would eliminate the case workers for the Military Severely Injured Center, who serve as advocates for wounded service members who have questions or issues related to benefits, financial resources and their successful return to duty or reintegration into civilian life – all forms of support other than medical care?

Of course, since this represents Dear Leader’s attitude towards anybody who is not a millionaire (his “base”), I suppose I could use this image on virtually any post that references Dear Leader…

– Badtux the Visual Penguin

Hat tip to the Alternate Brain

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State of the union blah blah blah

Left: Bush’s entire State of the Union Speech

There’s not enough whiskey in the universe to get me to either watch that dumbass or even read the transcript. I spent my evening playing with my kitties and riding my motorcycle (not at the same time!). The kitties are more intellectually stimulating anyhow. Their brains may be the size of walnuts, but that still makes them ten times smarter than the Idiot in Chief.

— Badtux the Hangover-nursing Penguin

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Murkey News furthers right-wing agenda

In today’s San Jose Murky News, we find that Yosemite National Park is getting fewer visitors today. They print a lot of speculation about why that’s so, but the real reason is buried deep within the article. Hmm, the price of admission to Yosemite rose from $5 in 1990 to $20 today? And visitors are down? Gosh, I wonder why!

Congratulations, Murky News, on being patsies for the right-wing neo-cons who want to price the National Parks out of the reach of ordinary people so that they can sell them off to private enterprise. This is a propaganda campaign they’ve been trying out for the past ten years — price the parks out of the range of people who want to see them, claim the parks aren’t popular anymore (“people just don’t want to go to national parks any more”) and then comes the next stage (“since nobody wants to go to national parks any more, we might as well sell them off to our cronies”). The Murky News bought it hook line and sinker and repeated the right-wing line like parrots.

If there is an attendance problem at Yosemite, it can be solved simply by dropping the entrance fees back to 1990 levels (adjusted for inflation). But that won’t happen because that would not further the right-wing agenda. And after all, if the Murky News wasn’t parroting the right wing agenda, they’d have nothing but blank newsprint!

— Badtux the Parks Penguin

Cross posted at the Mockingbird’s place.

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Coffee!

This morning, like, totally sucked. I was completely out of coffee, other than the instant variety that I drink while backpacking. BLEH! Any hot liquid tastes okay if you’re out in the wilderness and it’s cold outside, but in place of real coffee, it just doesn’t work.

I got home this evening, and … what’s this???

Huh. I wonder what could be in that box?

Yay! It’s coffee! And the investigator of open boxes, the Mighty Fang, looking at the mouth of said open box with suspicion (whoa, wonder what evil he believes is in there? Are his ears tipped back because he has spied the evil Box Monster???).

Life is good.

— Badtux the Well-Coffee’ed Penguin

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