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Archive for the ‘Republican stupidity’ Category

Devin Nunes sues Twitter over mean tweets from parody accounts.

You can’t get more ridiculous than this. Simultaneously complaining that Twitter silences its critics while asking Twitter to silence his critics is a curious legal strategy, but that’s Devin Nunes for you. He’s always been a twit, the kind of kid who probably wore bow ties and carried a briefcase when he was in high school, and being so far up Mango Mussolini’s ass that he can see the back of Mango’s teeth hasn’t made him any less a whiny asshole.

Such a pathetic special little snowflake, wah, parody accounts was *mean* to you! Wah! What a whiny baby!

— Badtux the Soon to be sued by Nunes like rest of Twitterverse Penguin

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Republicans have a new strategy. Same as the old one. Take a word, any word. Say it sneeringly, and say that Democrats support it, and thus Democrats are bad and you should vote for Republicans because they’re not bad.

So let’s see what the new word is. The old words were “Communist” and then “Liberal”. The new word is… “socialist.”

Hmm. Let’s try that on a millennial:

Republican: “Democrats are for socialist things like a government takeover of healthcare and free college tuition! Democrats want to turn the United States into a socialist nation!”

Millennial: “Wait, healthcare for all is bad? Free college tuition is bad?”

Republican: “Socialism doesn’t work!”

Millennial: “But every other advanced nation has universal healthcare, and most of them have better healthcare outcomes than we do.”

Republican: “It’s socialist! It can’t work!”

Millennial: “But… France? Taiwan? Scandinavia? Germany? Japan?”

Republican: “Those are all failed nations! U S A! U S A! U S A!”

Millennial: “Whatevah. Have a nice day.” Walks off, rolling his/her eyes.

Okay, so that didn’t work out so well, so now let’s try this again. Mr. Republican walks up to another millennial

Republican: “Free college is socialism!”

Millennial: “Okay. And?”

Republican: “Socialism doesn’t work!”

Millennial: “Uhm, most colleges are already public colleges, how can you say they’re not working?”

Republican: “Because socialism!”

Millennial: “Socialism is free tuition for public colleges rather than having to pay tuition to attend them? And that’s going to make them stop working, somehow?”

Republican: “Yes! Because socialism!”

Millennial (rolling eyes). “So how will free tuition versus paid tuition suddenly make public colleges stop working?”

Republican: “Because it’s socialism!”

Millennial: “Whatevah. Have a nice day.” Walks off, rolling his/her eyes.

Hmm. Methinks that labeling free health care and free college tuition as “socialism” isn’t working too well with millennials. They seem to not respond to the same scare words that earlier generations did. So let’s try this again, except throw more scare tactics in:

Republican: “Free health care and free college tuition and a Green New Deal are part of a secret plan to turn the United States into a socialist nation!”

Millennial (rolling eyes): “And?”

Republican: “Socialism doesn’t work! Venezuela! Cuba! North Korea! Booga ooga!”

Millennial: “If socialism gets me health care and college tuition, why should I be scared of it?”

Republican: “Because it’ll turn the United States into Venezuela!”

Millennial: “How?”

Republican: “Because socialism!”

Millennial: “Actually, as a Bernie supporter, I support democratic socialism like practiced in most European countries, not the Communist kind of socialism practiced in the countries you listed…”

Republican: “But socialism doesn’t work!”

Millennial: “It seems to work pretty well for the Scandinavians.”

Republican: “But Americans aren’t Scandinavians!”

Millennial: “You’re saying Americans can’t do democratic socialism as well as the Scandinavians do? You think so badly about your fellow Americans? Man.” Walks away, rolling eyes.

Republican: “Goddamn millennials have no sense. Socialism! Oooga booga! Socialism make hair fall out and feet be hairy! Cuba! North Korea! Venezuela! Ooga booga!”

Millennial, walking away, just shakes head and twirls finger around ear in classic “crazy person over there” symbol.

Hmm… maybe this cunning plan of the Republicans isn’t working so well on a generation that was raised on the Internet and knows how to look up things for themselves? Naw, surely they just need to double down on what’s already not working, and gosh darn it, then it’ll work!

Yeah, it worked so well that there isn’t a single Republican state-wide office holder in the state of California, and Democrats are 2/3rds of the state legislature. Sounds like they “socialism!”‘ed themselves right out of office, at least in California with its young and highly educated population. Go figure.

– Badtux the Snarky “If it doesn’t work the first 1,000 times, do it 1,000 times more!” Penguin

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Trump shown tunnels dug by smugglers underneath current border wall.

But I guess Trump’s reaction was more along the lines of, “We’ll dig a ditch, a bigly ditch and we’ll build the wall underground and Mesopotamia will pay for it, believe me”. All to solve a problem that doesn’t exist.

The reality is that border crossings are at a near historic low, as is crime near the border. There is in fact reverse immigration of Mexicans — more Mexicans are leaving the US for Mexico than are coming to the US from Mexico. And it’s not about terrorism either — More people on the terrorist watch list have been apprehended at the Canadian border than at the US border. We caught 6 terrorists at the Mexican border which is 1,954 miles long and is patrolled by 16,605 agents which is a density of 8.5 agents/mile. Meanwhile, we caught 41 terrorists at the Canadian border, which is 5,525 miles long and is secured by 2,048 agents which is a density of .4 agents/mile.

Given the numbers it is not logical to address a supposed problem on the southern border when you have 7 times as many non-US persons in the Terrorist Screening Database attempting to cross the northern border. With the disparity of resources it would make more sense to direct increased resources to the Canadian border. But I’m sure that the emphasis upon the southern border has *nothing* to do with the race of the people who are south of that border. (Cue dog whistles).

And as I pointed out earlier, the only walls that have ever worked — the Berlin Wall, the Israeli separation wall, etc. — have worked only because they’re manned by sociopaths willing to gun down unarmed men, women, and children to stop them from going over or under the wall. Unless we’re going to hire over 100,000 sociopaths to start shooting unarmed civilians, all that a 12 foot wall creates is a market for 14 foot ladders — or shovels.

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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Well, everybody knows that Republicans hate unions, right?

I didn’t watch the State of the Uniom(sic) address tonight, or its followups (though I accidentally caught a bit of Bernie Sanders sounding like Grampa Simpson yelling at clouds while flipping around). I presume I didn’t miss anything?

– Badtux the Not-watching Penguin

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Apparently the Fake News Awards were cancelled due to Stormy weather.

I’ve been just shaking my head and laughing over the revelations about Donald Trump’s year-long tryst with porn star Stormy Daniels. Not only was this a year after the birth of his youngest child — yes, a father was cheating on his wife and kids to sleep with a porn star! — but the various kinks just keep coming out. The latest: Trump demanded that she spank him with a rolled up copy of Forbes Magazine. Presumably because he’d been a very bad boy.

Stormy apparently mentioned stuff like this to multiple people over the years. And then she clammed up. She was paid off with $130K to keep her quiet. And this money was laundered through a shell company to allow plausible deniability. Donald Trump can honestly state that he didn’t pay off Stormy Daniels to stay quiet. Because he didn’t. Essential Consultants LLC did. And “Peggy Peterson”, who apparently is Trump lawyer Michael Cohen’s oh so pretty alter ego.

Now, if Obama had been alleged to have an affair with a porn star immediately after his wife had given birth to his youngest child, Republicans everywhere would be outraged. And that shell company? They would have immediately started impeachment proceedings alleging money laundering. So where’s their outrage today?

[Crickets]

IOKIYR, I guess.

— Badtux the IOKIYR Penguin

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Apparently two different porn stars were paid by Trump or Trump surrogates to not talk about how they’d had sex with Donald Trump. While he was married. To people not them.

Here’s my take on that: What self-respecting porn star would even admit to having sex with Donald Trump?! Talk about free money!

Meanwhile, Trump’s deranged interview with the Wall Street Journal is getting no traction. Because dumpster fire. Who pays attention to stuff like that, when there’s a dumpster fire to watch?!

– Badtux the Head-shakin’ Penguin

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Yeah, the sun rose in the east, like usual, and Donald Trump said something stupid and racist today, as usual. And water is wet, too.

I swear, all I have to do is copy and paste this post, with a different link, and I have half of everything I’m going to post for the next three years. The other half, of course, will be cat pictures.

– Badtux the Head-shakin’ Penguin

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