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Archive for the ‘Republican stupidity’ Category

Well, everybody knows that Republicans hate unions, right?

I didn’t watch the State of the Uniom(sic) address tonight, or its followups (though I accidentally caught a bit of Bernie Sanders sounding like Grampa Simpson yelling at clouds while flipping around). I presume I didn’t miss anything?

– Badtux the Not-watching Penguin

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Apparently the Fake News Awards were cancelled due to Stormy weather.

I’ve been just shaking my head and laughing over the revelations about Donald Trump’s year-long tryst with porn star Stormy Daniels. Not only was this a year after the birth of his youngest child — yes, a father was cheating on his wife and kids to sleep with a porn star! — but the various kinks just keep coming out. The latest: Trump demanded that she spank him with a rolled up copy of Forbes Magazine. Presumably because he’d been a very bad boy.

Stormy apparently mentioned stuff like this to multiple people over the years. And then she clammed up. She was paid off with $130K to keep her quiet. And this money was laundered through a shell company to allow plausible deniability. Donald Trump can honestly state that he didn’t pay off Stormy Daniels to stay quiet. Because he didn’t. Essential Consultants LLC did. And “Peggy Peterson”, who apparently is Trump lawyer Michael Cohen’s oh so pretty alter ego.

Now, if Obama had been alleged to have an affair with a porn star immediately after his wife had given birth to his youngest child, Republicans everywhere would be outraged. And that shell company? They would have immediately started impeachment proceedings alleging money laundering. So where’s their outrage today?

[Crickets]

IOKIYR, I guess.

— Badtux the IOKIYR Penguin

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Apparently two different porn stars were paid by Trump or Trump surrogates to not talk about how they’d had sex with Donald Trump. While he was married. To people not them.

Here’s my take on that: What self-respecting porn star would even admit to having sex with Donald Trump?! Talk about free money!

Meanwhile, Trump’s deranged interview with the Wall Street Journal is getting no traction. Because dumpster fire. Who pays attention to stuff like that, when there’s a dumpster fire to watch?!

– Badtux the Head-shakin’ Penguin

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Yeah, the sun rose in the east, like usual, and Donald Trump said something stupid and racist today, as usual. And water is wet, too.

I swear, all I have to do is copy and paste this post, with a different link, and I have half of everything I’m going to post for the next three years. The other half, of course, will be cat pictures.

– Badtux the Head-shakin’ Penguin

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Trump and his cronies are freaking out about a tabloid book about a tabloid president, Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House. And incidentally have turned what would likely have been yet another ignored book on Trump into a best seller.

Cheetoh Mussolini’s lawyer threatened to sue the publisher. In response, the publisher released the book four days early and the publisher’s lawyer eviscerates the President’s lawyer in a public letter. BRUTAL.
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Trump surrogate Miller had to be escorted off of CNN property by security after he started ranting at Jake Tapper.

Cheeto Mussolini whines that he can’t sue author of tabloid book for libel, claims new libel laws would make that possible. Except he’ll need a new Supreme Court too, to overturn the actual malice standard set for public figures by the 1st Amendment freedom of press right to cover news.

Steve Bannon fired from Breitbart by the Koch brothers because they’re upset that Bannon said of the Trump kids’ meeting with Russian spies in Trump Tower that it was “treasonous”.

Herr Twitler himself calls Wolff a “loser” and his book “boring”. And boasts about how he fired Steve Bannon, the man who made him President, for being “sloppy”.

All this fire and fury because the book tells us something we already knew: Trump is an unstable and incompetent president who has no business holding the office he didn’t really want all that much anyway. Duh. It’s not like the book tells us anything we didn’t already know. It just slings tabloid sleaze upon a tabloid President. And thus is perfect for this era: a tabloid book, for a tabloid president.

– Badtux the Amused Penguin

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So I’m down in Louisiana handling family business that involves lawyers, land, and money, and sitting in the hotel lobby drinking some coffee and I tell the lady responsible for the coffee, “hey, I just got the last coffee out.” And she says “What? I just made a full pot!” and I shrug and say “Hey, this is Louisiana, Louisianians do like their coffee!” and she gets busy getting another pot out for the circling sharks.

From there the conversation moved on and a bubba who looks like your stereotypical Trump supporter asks “so where you from?” and I say “Louisiana originally, but living in California now.” And he says, “Why does everybody there hate Trump?”

“Mostly they don’t, they mostly just want to make money and he’s interfering with that.”

“People keep saying mean things about him though, like all those Hollywood movie stars.”

“I don’t know anything about movie stars, I’m up in the Silicon Valley. What we don’t like up there is that Trump wants to come into our state and tell us how to run it. He wants to deport a bunch of our workers, raise our taxes, and otherwise cost us a lot of money.”

“Well that’s just Trump getting even with people who don’t support him.”

“Maybe so, but it’s costing us money, so we don’t like Trump. Plus, he wants to take away our legal marijuana, and Californians do like their marijuana.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“Do you like bluegrass?”

“Sure!”

So I recount the story of the bluegrass festival in Golden Gate Park, with the cops bopping at the back of the audience and utterly ignoring the vendors of marijuana brownies and other goodies openly walking around with hand-drawn signs advertising their wares for sale, complete with hand-drawn marijuana leaves. And end up with, “so California has been pretty cool with marijuana sales for a while, and now they’re going to make lots of money by legalizing the sales and taxing it, but Attorney General Sessions, the evil Keebler elf, says he’s going to dispatch the DEA to shut down all the legal marijuana sales in states like California.”

“Well, that’s just wrong. Marijuana ought to be legal everywhere!”

For a few moments, a die-hard Trump supporter and a die-hard liberal agreed on something: that marijuana should be legal, and Jeff Sessions was out of order sending the DEA to crush legal marijuana.

And that, my friends, is why Attorney General Jeff Session’s recent announcement that he’s going to dispatch the DEA to shut down legal marijuana sales in the states that have legalized marijuana is the most bone-headed political move since Sarah Palin announced she was a Russia expert because she could see Russia from her back yard. Even Trump’s *supporters* don’t back it. Hell, one of Trump’s biggest fans, Senator Cory Gardner of Colorado, came out and blasted it.

Not that the Trumpistas give a shit about public opinion, but this is going to put a lot of Republican Congressmen on the hot seat in the coming election. And like it or not, the Trump administration does need Congress in order to do much of what it wants to do. Jeffy’s little stunt ain’t making that easier. Just sayin’.

– Badtux the Drug War Penguin

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It never turns out well. Just ask George W. Bush. Or Ronald Reagan’s ghost, for that matter — he fucked around in Lebanon, it got a couple hundred Marines killed, he said “fuck this shit” and declared victory and went home (after blowing up a buncha innocent people with shells from a battleship).

Yeah, you sure paid attention, didn’t you, Donald? Doing exactly what everybody warned you not to do — declared that you’re going to move the U.S. Embassy to Jerusalem. A move for which there is literally NO gain for the United States — and you’re supposed to be President of the United States, dude, not President of Israil.

SIGH.

— Badtux the “Don’t these people ever learn?” Penguin

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