Archive for the ‘republican dwarf race’ Category

I am perhaps tardy in talking about the death of Roger Ailes. They say don’t speak ill of the dead. Yet what can I say that’s good about a man who had no redeeming qualities? Other than, “He’s dead. Good.”

It is perhaps appropriate that Roger Ailes’s introduction to politics was via Richard Nixon in 1967. Richard Nixon was a twisted man who required a corkscrew to put his boots on in the morning, and Ailes and Nixon got along with each other like macaroni and cheese, spaghetti and meatballs, slime and slugs. Nixon was evil in the way of insecure men with a desire for power and no moral scruples, but Ailes was evil just because. Ailes was a master of the Big Lie, never letting the truth out of its barn if a lie would do, because he didn’t care about polluting the body politic with fake news to keep people confused and uncertain — all he cared about was corrupting the public discourse so that evil could win. As such, he led the media propaganda efforts of Nixon and Reagan and Bush 1, then met, finally, someone who was both evil and rich enough to make his ultimate dream come true. I am talking, of course, about Rupert Murdoch, who sadly still walks this earth despite making Richard Nixon look like an honest man.

Ailes was a creep, a serial molester of women, a serial molester of the truth. When he convinced Murdoch to fund his Fox News Network, he un-ironically proclaimed it to be “Fair and Balanced” at every point in time, where “fair” meant both falsehood and truth was given equal crdibility, and “balanced” meant that both good and evil were given moral equivalence. He polluted the public discourse to the point where frothing white snowflake MAGAts truly believed that there were evil Communist Liberals out there whose sole goal was to exterminate the white race, something which any reasonable person would simply laugh at, but after two decades of concerted propaganda there were few reasonable people on that side of the bench, only true believers who believed every lie that Ailes had his network present. Every morning, every single person at Fox News Network got the day’s talking points from Ailes. Their job was to reiterate those talking points, over and over again, repeating the Big Lie over and over until it became not something incredibly racist and venal and evil but, rather, became normal. Normalizing evil was the thing that Ailes loved to do, and the results can be seen on every Youtube video that attracts attention from the rightward side of the political spectrum, and every newspaper comments section, where people spew evil as if it were simply common wisdom, and it’s the people *not* spewing evil who are attacked and marginalized.

It is too bad there is not a Hell, for if there was, Ailes would certainly be condemned to inhabit it for the rest of eternity for his work in the service of evil. But there is not a Hell, and so all we can do is talk about the evil that Ailes did — an evil that will far outlast his worm-eaten body, alas, an evil that has the potential, in all likelihood, to destroy the nation and the world itself.

That is Roger Ailes. He was a creep. And evil. Let us never forget that.

– Badtux the Obituaries Penguin

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Ted Cruz dropped out, meaning Trump will get the 200 electors he needs to win the nomination without a contest. So time to mock! “But wait,” cries the so-called “moderates”. “This will just make his supporters support Trump *even more*!”

Really? Look. That’s utter bullshit. There isn’t a goddamn thing I say that’s ever going to affect a Trump supporter’s vote. The people who support Trump wouldn’t vote for a Democrat if their party was running a hamster in a tuxedo suit for President, so it doesn’t matter what we say about them. They’ve been told so many times that anybody who is a Democrat is automatically an evil baby killer who wants to round up Republicans and put them into FEMA camps while stealing all their money to give to illegal Messicans and force them to mandatory gay marry their dog and yada yada yada that a Democrat saying nasty things about them is no more going to change their vote than a message from God above booming, “Thou shalt vote for the Democrat!” out of a nearby burning bush. They’d just look at that burning bush, look at each other, and decide that the burning bush was just an outlet for MSNBC and probably gay besides. Even golden tablets falling from the heavens to their feet wouldn’t change their mind. They’d just claim Democrats were flying overhead in invisible silent helicopters dropping these tablets trying to brain them.

Let’s face it, when you have half of the USA that believes batshit crazy stupidity like all Democrats are evil baby killers who want to round up all Republicans into FEMA camps yada yada, there isn’t anything Democrats or God himself say that’s *ever* going to affect their vote in any way. That’s just how it is.

– Badtux the Mocking Penguin

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— Donald Trump

So anyhow, New York had their primary today, and as expected, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton appear to be the big winners. Pizza Rat… err, Ted Cruz… couldn’t get much traction after all his talk of “New York Values” being un-American and all that. How surprising! Hillary appears to have gotten some help from some good ole’ fashioned machine politics in many districts, but it appears to have been fairly pro forma — exit polls found that even those who left frustrated because they’d been scrubbed from voter lists tended to favor Hillary. Like Vladimir Putin, the Democratic Machine tried to rig the election because it’s what they do, not because it was necessary in order for their preferred candidate to win.

So onward and outward. More on that later.

– Badtux the Politics Penguin

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In 1991, the two survivors of the “jungle primary” in the Louisiana governor’s race were Democrat Edwin “Slick Eddie” Edwards and Republican David “KKK Wizard” Duke. Or, as pundits put it, “the lizard versus the wizard”. For the next few weeks there were a whole lot of cars sporting *two* bumper stickers — the official Edwin Edwards for Governor bumper sticker, and the one above. The crook, of course, being Edwin Edwards, who did eventually get convicted of corruption and sent to prison, but only after his term of office was over.

Looking at the results of today’s party primaries, it looks like it’s about 90% certain that the Presidential nominees this fall will be Hillary Clinton and Donald “Mussolini Lite” Trump. That’s the way the numbers are adding up. It seems unlikely that Bernie Sanders will be able to take the remaining big states that he’d need to become the Democratic nominee. Hillary has New York tied up, and Pennsylvania is probably hers too. Add in California, and she’s darn close to the number of delegates she needs. Bernie simply doesn’t have enough votes in the remaining states to overcome that. The same applies to Trump versus Cruz (now that Rubio is out). There’s those who think the Rubio votes are going to go to Cruz. I think that’s unlikely. At best they’ll be split between Trump and Cruz… at which point Trump *still* wins.

So for many people, 2016 is shaping up to be the Race from Hell like the 1991 Louisiana governor’s election. Hillary is a lot like Edwin Edwards without the charisma — corrupt, but effective. (She doesn’t view herself as corrupt, she views herself as simply doing politics as usual, as far as I know she has violated no laws, but when politics as usual are corrupt, well). Meanwhile, Donald Trump… Donald Trump makes David Duke look like a boy scout. Like the story from yesterday where The Donald’s henchmen tried to take on the manager for the Rolling Stones and only backed off because the Stones had a shitload of roadies show up with crowbars and baseball bats and such. As Jerry Springer put it, “the big difference between my show and a Donald Trump rally is that nobody on my show is running for President.” Trump is a bully and a thug.

Given those two choices, I think the sentiment of the bumper sticker might bear some thought. Vote for the crook. It’s important. Sure, it’d be nice if we had Bernie up there in November running against Trump, but that seems unlikely — I mean, yeah, there’s that 10% chance, but all the stars have to line up just right and I wouldn’t bet on it. But given the alternative of a crook or a thug, well. I know who I voted for in the 1991 Louisiana governor’s race — I voted for the crook, who, incidentally, won because a lot of other people viewed it important to make sure the thug didn’t get in office. I have absolutely no problem with doing that again, especially since, like Edwin Edwards, Hillary Clinton is an experienced politician who knows how to get things done. She’s also about as charismatic as floor wax, but (shrug). Can’t have it all, I guess.

– Badtux the “It’s Important” Penguin

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Chris Christie was behind Donald Trump at Trump’s Super Tuesday victory press conference / party in the wake of his endorsement of Trump last week. He looked as if he were having second thoughts. And third thoughts. And fourth thoughts.


That is the expression of a man who has realized he has sold his soul to the lowest bidder. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost.

– Badtux the Horror-stricken Penguin

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I’ve been reading the polls for tomorrow’s “Super Tuesday” primaries (well, probably *today* by the time you read this). Trump sweeps most of the Republican primaries. Hillary sweeps most of the Democratic primaries, including the delegate-rich states of Texas and Georgia.

It looks like we’re going to have the race from hell, in other words: a stiff, unlikable Democrat versus a natural born showman of a fascist Republican

Oh yeah, why do I use that f word? Because. The Secret Service is already acting like Trump is President and is letting Trump order them to do fascist things like beat reporters who stray out of the reporter’s pen and expel black students for cluttering up the place with their blackety black blackness. And Trump’s audience eats it up. There’s no such thing as a bad PR move for Trump, he could punch a pregnant woman in the stomach while tripping an 90 year old veteran grandfather with the American flag and crowds would pulse with the chant of “Make America Great Again.”

And this is the man who stands a damn good chance of being the next President of the United States of America.

No wonder I feel like shit today. It isn’t just my bad back flaring up, or my allergies going into overdrive because the pine trees across the street have gone into full-bore yellow snow mode and are coating everything with pollen. It’s watching our country continue down the dumper into full-bore Idiocracy mode. Fuck me. SIGH.

– Badtux the Bummed Penguin

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You want to know the difference between Ted Cruz and Donald Trump, and why Donald Trump kicked his butt in New Hampshire on Tuesday?

Ted Cruz had a campaign commercial that unknowingly included a softcore porn star. When this was pointed out, Ted Cruz’s campaign immediately yanked the commercial off of YouTube and issued a statement that if they had known the woman’s background, they would have never included her in the commercial.

If someone pointed out a softcore porn star in one of Donald Trump’s commercials, on the other hand, all he would do is leer and say “Yep, sure did, and did you see the bazingas on that lady?” And the commercial would still be up.

That’s the difference between them. One is a sanctimonious prick, and the other is an asshole and unrepentant about it. And unrepentant assholes beat sanctimonious pricks every day of the year, because unrepentant assholes are entertaining. Sanctimonious pricks, on the other hand… not so much.

– Badtux the Popcorn-munching Penguin

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One of those guys is a blood-sucking monster. The other is an actor on a TV show.

Ba da BOOM!

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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So some Christians are having a cow about Starbucks holiday cups being simply red. And other Christians are having a cow about Christians having a cow about Starbucks holiday cups being simply red. And other Christians are accusing liberals of inventing the cow. Or something like that.

Just munching popcorn watching the fools collide.

There was a debate tonight by the Republican candidates. I didn’t watch it, I was at a Jeep club meeting. The Jeep club meeting was far more interesting anyhow. So did you watch the debate? If so, did you manage to make it through without gouging out your eyes, or are you “reading” this using a “screen reader” program talking to you about the contents of this blog?

– Badtux the Fool-observin’ Penguin

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No, I’m not talking about his participation in a multi-level marketing pyramid scam selling fraudulent products that accomplish nothing except making you gassy. No, I’m talking about literal pyramids. Like, in Egypt. You know, the ones where archaeologists have gone in and cracked’em open, and found dead Pharoahs in them. Which pretty much puts to rest what their purpose was: As the final resting place for some fabulous dickish rulers who weren’t beyond putting tens of thousands of slaves to work building monuments to their most excellent inbred highnesses.

Except Dr. Ben (R-CrayCray) has another idea: he doesn’t think people built them at all. So that leaves aliens (which he pooh-poohs) or God. Yep, magic mojo God-man built’em, for his home-boy Joseph. Why’d He build’em? Well, to store grain, duh. All those dead pharoahs? Just part of a conspiracy by archaeologists to deflect people from the truth, duh. Just like the conspiracy about global warming, which is part of a 100 year old conspiracy by “scientists” (who are actually Satanists, duh) that started when those “scientists” faked evidence that carbon dioxide is a greenhouse gas back in the 1800’s and don’t believe people who say you can replicate those experiments because those experiments are all fake, duh.

Emphasis upon the “duh”. As in, you’d have to be dumber than a rock to believe that shit, or else crazier than crazy. Pyramids built by an invisible sky demon or space aliens? For realz? And this man is the current Republican front-runner for President of the United States?


– Badtux the WASF Penguin

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