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Archive for the ‘food’ Category

FOOD!

Cajun style beans. They was good.

Recipe:
1 pound of beans of choice (red, pinto, but *not* lima!).
1 pound of sausage, preferably spicy Portuguese sausage or real andouille from South Louisiana.
1 bell pepper, diced.
1 can Rotel diced tomatoes and chives.
1 teaspoon garlic granules or 1/4 clove of garlic diced finely.
1 teaspoon red pepper
1/4 cup Tapatio hot sauce (or Tabasco, but you’ll need to add 1 teaspoon of black pepper and 1 teaspoon of salt in that case, since it doesn’t have the black pepper or salt that’s in Tapatio).

Soak the beans overnight before cooking. Drain and rinse until they rinse clean, then cover with about an inch of water in a non-stick pot and toss in the can of Rotel and the diced bell pepper and the garlic and the red pepper but NOT the hot sauce or salt. Bring to a boil, then lower to a simmer and cook covered for an hour or so. Add the sausage. Cook another hour or so. Add the hot sauce and, if not using Tapatio, salt and black pepper. Cook for another hour or two, the more the merrier. If you need to add water, bring it to boiling in another pot then add it. Once you think it’s done, which you’ll know by testing beans and seeing if they’re tender, remove the cover and boil it down until it’s a thicker mix.

Serve over rice. Add additional hot sauce if needed. (Personally, I scale right up to having 1/2 cup of hot sauce in the pot during cooking).

Note — this is my own recipe based upon what I had in my pantry and refrigerator at the time. It worked out fine :).

– Badtux the Culinary Penguin

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Tonight’s frozen pizza for review came from Grocery Outlet, my local surplus outlet for weird foods. Meaning I’ll never see it again. Pity.

The pizza is “Palermo’s Primo Thin Uncured Pepperoni Pizza”. It boasts on the cover that it has no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives and has an “ultra thin crust”. So how does it taste?

Pretty good, actually. The crust is very toasty, like a thin crust should be. The sauce is tasty but scarce enough in quantity to not overpower the crust. The pepperoni is tangy and tasty. It could probably use just a tiny bit more cheese to balance out the pepperoni, but as is, the amount of cheese is a sufficient base underneath the tangy pepperoni.

I won’t say it’s the best frozen pizza I’ve ever eaten. But it’s in the top tier. Recommended, if you like thin crust pizzas.

– Badtux the Pizza Review Penguin

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Bay Area McDonald’s will serve large orders of French fries in limited-edition rainbow boxes for Pride Month, June 2017. (Photo courtesy of McDonald’s of the Greater Bay Area)

Yep, that’s what the preacher who got upset about Starbucks cups is upset about now. McDonalds french fries are gay!

Uhm…. say whuh? I mean, do these french fries copulate with each other or something? How do you sex a french fry to know they’re doing the nasty with the same sex, anyhow? They don’t have any externally visible genitalia!

Then he says that maybe McDonalds should serve some Christian french fries. Uhm. They’re french fries. They’re food. Food doesn’t have a religion. You eat it, you don’t worship it. (Though I must admit that some of the food I’ve eaten over the years has been worthy of worship, thinking about some places in the French QUarter that I ate in over the decades, then a New Mexican place in South Phoenix…). Since when do fried potatoes have a religion? Is this dude dotty or something? (Answer: Yes.)

Meanwhile, the gay wedding cake case is going to the Supreme Court. The baker’s argument is that, apparently, a cake is speech. Say wha? I could have sworn that a cake was food! Since when is a food speech? Something you do with a food might be speech — for example, throwing a lemon pie at a piñata of Donald Trump. But a food itself? It’s just food. Something you eat for nourishment (or at least enjoyment). Duh.

I mean, what’s the difference between a gay wedding cake and just a plain old wedding cake? I guess a gay wedding cake is fabulous, sure. But it’s a cake. It doesn’t do any mano a mano sexual acts with other cakes, because, like, it lacks arms, and legs, and external genitalia, and reproductive organs, and …. So gay cake sex must be boring as hell. They just lay on each other waiting to be eaten? WTF?

Man, these tighty whitey righties could have chosen anything on the universe to get upset about — war, famine, poverty, Remy Ma beating Nicki Minaj at the BET Awards– but they chose food? For realz? Man. You couldn’t make this up. If I wrote this as part of a novel, the editor would return it right back to me saying “too unrealistic, nobody could be so small-minded as to get upset by food items.”

Yet there they are.

Food.

What a thing to get upset by. Sheesh!

– Badtux the Baffled Penguin

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He’s fucking English, for cryin’ out loud. He has about as much business talking about pizza as an Italian chef has talking about spotted dick.

Oh yeah, what prompted this rant? Gordon fucking Ramsay said pineapple doesn’t belong on pizza. Say wha? Dude. If a pizza has an acceptably bready or toasty crust (depending on its thickness), a nice tangy sauce, and a nice smooth cheese, pretty much anything works on pizza. Fuck, I can even make Spam work on pizza — if I add pineapple to offset the salty taste, that is. Pizza is, like, the world’s perfect melting pot food. Hell, I even made goddamn brussel sprouts work on pizza once. It took some doing to come up with something to offset that taste, but some ‘shrooms, onions, bell pepper, black olive, and just a hint of red pepper and parmesan? Not my favorite, but it worked.

Pineapple, Canadian Bacon, and habanero. Put those three things together on a pizza, and your mouth be down partay-ing, I guar-an-tee. My personal favorite is pepperoni and jalapeno, but dude? That pineapple, Canadian bacon, and habanero pizza? That one goes down quick too. Just sayin’.

– Badtux the Pizza Lovin’ Penguin

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The problem with cold weather…

… is that you *want* to heat up the house, meaning that baking goes from being a “no, I won’t because it’ll get the house warm!” to a “fuck yeah!”.

Behold the chocolate chip cookies of doom, which depleted my entire household supply of granulated sugar and butter. Made to the Toll House Cookie recipe, but with extra chocolate chips rather than nuts (heh!).

cookies

Uhm, yeah, that missing cookie was GOOOOOOD!

But I didn’t eat it until after I ate my supper, a pulled pork sandwich topped with barbecue sauce, pickles, and coleslaw, with dolmas (stuffed grape leaves) on the side:

pulledpork

Uhm, yeah, just call me a stuffed penguin ;).

– Badtux the Overstuffed Penguin

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That’s what Donald “I love Salmonella” Trump said, folks. He may have walked it back now, silently disappearing it down the memory hole, but there it was on his web site for at least days, long enough for people to get screen shots of it.

Of course, he’s just repeating typical Libertarian claptrap about how the free market would punish companies who sold dangerous foods. Like it punished Bayer for marketing heroin to children. Or like it punishes the restaurants and companies who sell the food that sickens 48 million Americans per year, most of whom haven’t the slightest idea what, of the food they ate in the past three days, caused their illness and thus can’t punish the restaurant, shop, or food manufacturer that made them sick. Clearly the free market is doing a lousy fucking job of dealing with food borne illnesses given that 48 million Americans are getting sick every year. Of course, the same can be said about the FDA, but that’s another story.

So we don’t need the “food police”? Really? Sounds to me like what we need is not only the “food police”, but a better “food police”, one that can get out there and do something about these motherfuckers who keep poisoning Americans with their salmonella-laced “food” products. But hey, that’s just me using common sense, and as we all know, common sense ain’t so common…

– Badtux the Foodie Penguin
BTW, I don’t buy hamburger meat at the market anymore because it’s all so adulterated now that I’ll eat fucking black bean “hamburger patties” before I eat that bullshit. Just sayin’. They sell this pink slime bullshit as “food”. Really?

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Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I have heated up canned chili for supper. A decent canned chili, Staggs (there are no *good* canned chili, but this one is edible), but still, canned chili.

For my penance I am accompanying it with hand-made corn tortillas.

Amen.

Meanwhile, bought a 5 pound bag of flour for $1.79 at Smart & Final today. A loaf of bread costs over $2. I can make more than a half dozen loaves of bread with this bag of flour. If I mix it with rye flour, I can make loaves of bread that are tastier than most store-bought breads and last just as long.

Yeah, I think I can get into this whole “baking” thing.

– Badtux the Baking Penguin

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