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Archive for the ‘Orange Racist Russian Stooge’ Category

Because there’s no difference between Nazis carrying shields and pipes and wearing helmets, and people who punch Nazis.

Seriously. That was his argument. That it was okay for Nazis to beat the shit out of people because the “alt-left” (antifa?) started it by punching some Nazis.

The President.

Defended.

Nazis.

Because those nasty antifa attacked peaceful white supremacists, as this photo proves:

Fuuuuuuuck.

Y’know, about these anti-fascist “antifa”, I don’t think their tactics are necessarily good or wise, but I can’t find it in me to condemn people who punch Nazis, no matter how much the Nazis whine about being punched. That’s the difference between me and the Orange Racist Russian Stooge, an apple that apparently didn’t fall far from the tree.

— Badtux the Head-shakin’ Penguin

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Every single Senator voting — 100% of them, both Democrats and Republicans — vote to hold pro-forma sessions to keep President Trump from making recess appointments over their August break.

Every. Single. One of them. Democrats and Republicans. Like cats and dogs agreeing.

But: it makes perfect sense. Republican senators are pissed that Trump might fire their former colleague and friend Jefferson Beauregard Sessions while they’re out on break and replace him with, oh, I dunno, maybe Alex Jones, as a recess appointment. And Democrats… well, they didn’t need motivation, heh.

Still. Unity. In the Senate. And all it took was a deplorable President. LOL.

– Badtux the Unity Penguin

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That’s what Serious People are saying on editorial pages. Because, doncha know, Hillary Clinton *PERSONALLY* parachuted out of a C-130 over Benghazhi, and *PERSONALLY* put a bullet into each and every one of those people’s heads! Even though she was in Washington D.C. at the time, she has the SUPERVILLAIN power of BEING IN TWO PLACES AT ONCE! Plus, as Secretary of State, *SHE CONTROLLED THE MILITARY*! Forget that whole thing about the SoS not being in the military chain of command, Obama wasn’t running the military, Leon Panetta wasn’t the Secretary of Defense in the chain of command between Obama and the generals, Hillary Clinton was PRESIDENT and SECRETARY OF STATE and SECRETARY OF DEFENSE all AT the SAME time!!!!

Sheesh, you young people. You just don’t know anything, do you?!

Clearly made-up scandals about imaginary conspiracies that require the perpetrator to have Marvel comics supervillain powers are *exactly* the same as a real scandal about an actual conspiracy between a political family and a hostile foreign power. Yup. Just the same.

Alrighty, then!

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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Trump campaigned on not arming people in Syria. Because they’re bad hombres. All of them. Well, believe it or not, he finally delivered on that campaign promise.

Sure, it makes Russia happy. I’m sure that Putin is chortling. But honestly, this was one of the occasions where Trump was right during the campaign. We had no business getting involved in the Syrian Civil War in the first place. Assad never did anything to us. Hell, compared to his daddy, who was a genuine son-of-a-bitch who massacred half the population of Hama for having the audacity to embrace the Muslim Brotherhood, Assad is a puppy dog. By the standard of Middle Eastern leaders, he’s a frickin’ saint. Our asshole “allies” in Saudi Arabia do worse shit than Assad was doing before the civil war inbetween rounds of golf.

So yeah, let’s quit arming sides in that civil war. If we want to fuck up ISIS, we don’t need some asshole who’s just as likely to switch sides as fight ISIS anyhow. The only people we know are effective at fighting ISIS and aren’t assholes are the Kurds, and arming them opens up all sort of geopolitical whup-ass especially with Turkey. Which is why we should do it — pissing off dictators is always fun as hell — but the CIA’s program wasn’t arming the Kurds. Because they always back losers. Always. Just ask anybody in Southeast Asia….

– Badtux the Campaign Promise Cop Penguin

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Ordered by a court to release his list of Russia contacts from his security clearance form, Attorney General Jeff Sessions instead releases a page from the form that is redacted to the point of basically being a blank sheet.

Oh Jeffy, puh-LEEZE. It’s not as if it’s a secret that you met with multiple Russian officials during the course of the Presidential campaign. Hell, we even have pictures of you talking with them:

Not to mention that you’ve even said yourself that you talked them them “as part of your Senate duties”. So you producing this blank sheet of paper? Total dick move. Total. Dick. Move.

If the plaintiffs in this FOIA lawsuit don’t file a petition for contempt of court with that evidence above, their lawyers ain’t doin’ their job. And guess what, Jeffy? It’s likely that you’ll get to spend a few days in Graybar Motel, like that woman in Kentucky who thought she could defy a court order to issue marriage certificates and changed her mind swiftly after spending some time in Club Fed for contempt of court. Let’s see what gets produced after a few days contemplating your navel in the Graybar Motel….

– Badtux the Popcorn-Munchin’ Penguin

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His jobs program apparently is… lawyers.

Yep, Donald Trump’s lawyer has hired a defense lawyer to defend him (the lawyer) against charges of colluding with Russia. Everybody in Trump’s family has hired a lawyer to defend them against charges of colluding with Russia. Donald Trump hired a different lawyer (other than the lawyer who hired the lawyer) to defend him against the charges of colluding with Russia, and it appears that Trump’s Russia lawyer (Kasowitz) is going to have to hire his own lawyer given his own history of collaborating with the Russians. Mike Pence has hired a personal lawyer too to deal with Russia inquiries, and Stephen M. Ryan, the lawyer for Trump’s original lawyer that needed a lawyer to defend him against Russia collusion charges, apparently is also going to need a lawyer because he, too, has been called to testify about Russia collusion. So the lawyer for the lawyer needs a lawyer.

Dear Appalachia: if you guys need jobs, Donald Trump has the jobs program for you! Just go to law school as a defense attorney, move to Washington D.C., and bingo, you’ll be hired immediately by the lawyer of a lawyer of a lawyer who needs to defend another lawyer against charges of colluding with Russia. It’s lawyers all the way down!

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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And nothing is going to happen, folks. Not until after mid-terms.

So yeah, Trump tried to shut down the Russia investigation. Yeah, that was obstruction of justice. Yeah, that’s illegal. No, nobody’s going to impeach Trump over it. Not yet, anyhow.

Here’s the deal: The Republicans in Congress are scared of the MAGAts, the hard-core red-MAGA-cap wearing Trump partisans. They’re scared for their physical safety, and they’re scared that the MAGAts will primary them if they oppose the MAGAts’ Great Orange Savior. The only thing — the *only* thing — that could make them ever go against the MAGAts would be if they felt their entire career was on the line if they didn’t. As in, fear of getting voted out of office.

And the only way *that* fear is happening is if the Republicans lose a lot of seats in 2018, especially if the seats lost are in supposedly “safe” Republican districts. At that point they’ll impeach Trump, using the ammunition that Comey gave them, and put Pence into office. Pence is an evil theocrat, far more evil than Trump in the big picture of things, but Pence is Republican-friendly. He doesn’t make blustering bumbling blundering statements in inappropriate venues. He is careful to observe the proprieties. He simply doesn’t cause the kinds of issues that Trump causes for Republicans. He does his evil quietly, behind closed doors, and throws bones to the pro-business wing of the Republican Party in the process.

And the reason for the timing? There has to be sufficient time for Pence to put together his campaign for 2020. So figure that, if Trump is going to be impeached, it is going to happen no earlier than January 2019 and no later than June 2019.

But my prediction? Trump isn’t going to be impeached. The reason? It’s because his blustering bumbling has, thus far, had no real impact on the political fortunes or prosperity of Republicans. Having Trump in office is like life insurance for Republican officials, they can blame Trump, not the Republican orthodoxy, for anything bad that happens, while all the while getting their own agenda through Congress and signed by a surprisingly pliant Trump, who seems to sign everything that is plopped in front of him regardless of how ill-considered. It’s “hold my beer and watch *this*!” taken to YUUGE proportions. And the result, as I’m sure you know, is usually a crash… but as long as the crash can be blamed on anybody-but-orthodox-Republicans, they don’t seem to care.

– Badtux the Car Crash Penguin

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