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Archive for the ‘Cheeto Mussolini’ Category

World Nut Daily, which introduced the false claim that Obama’s birth certificate was a fake, claims that liberal witches are casting spells against Donald Trump by, amongst other things, sticking pins into carrots. Which doesn’t seem to be working. Maybe we need to stick pins into Cheetos instead?

No, I’m not joking about these people believing in witchcraft. These people are demented. I am just completely bogwumped by the notion that anybody in this day and time believes in real actual witchcraft… ooh, and demons. Can’t forget the demons, which liberals are apparently literally throwing at Trump. Best comment at that link: “Well the demons aren’t doing much bloody good, and I’m getting exhausted painting pentangles and rectangles or whatever the hell to summon them up. We obviously need better bloody demons.”

To which one of my friends replied on my Facebook page, “sweetie, they believe in a magical invisible being to whom they pray to and who NEVER FUCKING ANSWERS. Of course they believe in witchcraft and demons.”

Gah, the stupid, it burns, it burns!

– Badtux the Bogwumped Penguin

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An annual African trade summit in California had no African attendees this year after at least 60 people were denied visas, according to event leaders.

Trade shows, conventions, and other events with international participation are about to move outside the US because nobody from outside the US can get a visa to attend them anymore. Yay, this is going to do our convention business *so* much good…

Way to be pro-business, Cheeto Mussolini!

– Badtux the Perplexed Penguin

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Every morning, I open up my web browser wondering if today is going to be the day I don’t say “What the fuck?” about something that His Fraudulency Donald the Trump or one of his lizard people officials said or did. Today, once again, was not that day. Because a) the Orange Racist Pussy Grabber released his proposed budget for next year, a budget that predominantly eliminates programs that help Trump voters such as Meals for Wheels and the Appalachian Regional Commission (and what kind of heartless sociopath could ever advocate zeroing out the budget for Meals for Wheels and Sesame Street, for crying out loud!), but he also proposed spending $4.1 billion on his wall next year. Because people might die due to eliminating the Chemical Safety Board, but by god it won’t be done by one of them Messicans!

Talking about which, the Chief Justice of the California Supreme Court has demanded that ICE stop stalking California courts, claiming that ICE is intimidating Hispanic witnesses in ongoing criminal trials and causing a public safety hazard. ICE of course says basically “up yours, Ms. Judge, you’re not the boss of me!”. Just as Customs and Border Protection says to they don’t have to obey the NAFTA treaty that says registered nurses qualify for a TN visa and thus can keep out much-needed Canadian nurses because, well, they can. Even though NAFTA is still the law until officially repealed or renegotiated. But God-Emperor Donald the Trump’s administration doesn’t care about no steenkin’ law, it’s all defiant juvenile “you’re not the boss of me! I don’t have to follow your rules!”. Because Cheeto Mussolini says they can. So they do it.

Then there is the ongoing Nazi saga of Sebastian Gorka, who has been dodging allegations that he is a Nazi for weeks now. Well, today a Jewish news magazine published what they purport is evidence that he really is a genuine bona fide Nazi, forcing him to explicitly deny that he’s a Nazi. Except that if he was ever a member of that Hungarian Nazi Party, he is ineligible for immigration to the United States, and could be stripped of his citizenship and deported, just like that sad sack Nazi who’s about to be deported to Poland. Oops!

And on to the Russia front. No wonder Michael Flynn resigned — he was up to his ears in Russian dough.

Finally, I think we’ve found Donald Trump’s next Peace Corps head — a Mormon missionary who beat the crap out of two people who tried to hold him up in Brazil. Because Trump is defunding the Institute for Peace while giving the military more money because the only peace he believes in is the peace of the grave, and this is exactly the right man to enforce that peace.

And that’s this day’s dispatch from the Imperial States of America, where God-Emperor Donald the Trump’s regime of lawlessness and incompetence continues as it has for the past 56 days.

– Badtux the News Penguin

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Heil Trump!, go the Nazis, as they celebrate their God-Emperor Donald the Trump at the Minneapolis Art Museum. If Deadbeat Donnie cared, he could have a Fourth Reich without a problem. Luckily that’d be too much work for him. He’s too busy making word salad about how health care is hard. (Really? You mean you’re just finding that out? You could have asked Obama and Hillary, y’know, both of whom would have told you the same thing!).

Talking about which, we got a visit from the Shrubbery today, who, like a woodchuck, stuck his head out of hole in the ground and declared at least three years, 11 months more bigotry were incoming. Seriously, former President George W. Bush blasted His Fraudulency’s travel ban, which is unsurprising since GWB is not a bigot. GWB was careful, in the aftermath of 9/11, to state to the American people that it was terrorists that attacked America, not the Muslim faith. He appeared at Islamic community centers, he posed in the White House with Muslim leaders, and otherwise said to America and Americans that Muslim-Americans were Americans and attacking them for their faith was wrong and un-American. Seeing Trump unraveling one of the few things that he did right in his tenure in office has to rankle.

More surprising, Bush criticized the Orange Racist Russian Stooge’s attacks on the free press. Quote:

“I consider the media to be indispensable to democracy,” Bush said. “We need an independent media to hold people like me to account.

“Power can be very addictive and it can be corrosive and it’s important for the media to call to account people who abuse power, whether it be here or elsewhere,” he added.

Bush noted that during his presidency, he sought to persuade people like Russian President Vladimir Putin to respect a free press.

“It’s kind of hard to tell others to have an independent free press when we’re not willing to have one ourselves,” Bush said.

Which is a serious “what the fuck?” of major proportions. The Shrubbery? Sounding like a statesman, without a speechwriter in sight? And he actually sounded smart! S-M-R-T smart! The thing about the Shrubbery is that he was lazy and intellectually incurious, but he wasn’t actively evil. The other thing about the Shrubbery is that he seemed to have an intellectual suck field around him. People who’d been in government for decades and done a competent job, like Former Secretary of Defense Cheney and Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld (his stint under the Shrubbery was his *second* stint as SecDef), suddenly lost 50 IQ points when they joined the Shrubbery’s administration and then advocated doing stupid things where, at least initially, the Shrubbery went along with them because he was, well, too lazy to object. It was one of the most “WTF?” things I ever encountered. Where was this smart George W. Bush when we needed him? And what does it say about the current resident of the office, when the worst President of the past forty years sounds more Presidential than him?

– Badtux the WTF Penguin

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I love all the MAGAts comparing the Orange Racist Pussy Grabber and Reagan. Yeah, let’s look at that comparison.

I lived through Reagan. Both Reagan and His Fraudulency Donald the Trump share the similarity of being delusional liars leading an administration comprised of crony criminals. And being washed up actors. And bigots who accused entire minority races of being criminals and rapists. And hatred of the press. Oooh, how Reagan hated the press. As his administration officials went to jail by the dozen (138 in all), Reagan fumed as the press covered each and every one being convicted. He held fewer press conferences than any other modern President, considering the press the enemy and unworthy of his time and attention. (Well, the fact that he was going dotty by his second term was probably part of that too). And hey, Reagan was into crony capitalism too. That’s why so many of his administration officials went to jail, they were using government for their own profit, just like Trump is doing with his many decisions that just *happen* to enrich Trump-owned businesses like Mar-a-Lago Resort in Florida.

Of course, there’s also big differences between Reagan and SCROTUS. Reagan cloaked his bigotry and his hatred of the press behind a shield of geniality. Cheeto Mussolini is just an ass. Reagan faced a real, if declining, existential threat in the form of the Soviet Union. The Orange Racist Russian Stooge faces a bunch of illiterate goat rapists in the Middle East, a China that is more interested in buying America than in fighting America, and a Russia armed with rusty leftover Soviet gear that is a threat to former Soviet states but no threat to Western Europe or the United States. And, for all his senility towards the end of his term, Reagan actually had governing experience and his White House ran like a well oiled machine. SCROTUS’s White House by contrast is a disaster where people wander around not knowing what they’re supposed to do and nobody even knows how to turn on the lights because they fired all the people who knew how to do that.

So yeah, compare Reagan and Tump all you want, MAGAts. That comparison doesn’t make your God-Emperor Donald the Trump look good at all. Just sayin’.

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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Apparently, according to the White House, the plan to call up 100,000 National Guardsmen to round up Messicans and expel them back to Mexico is “fake news”. Ignore the memo, nothing to see there, move along.

Meanwhile, Trump declares most of the mainstream media to be “enemies of the people”. Yeah, that’s what every democratically elected leader declares of the press. Err… no.

Best comment on Vice Admiral Robert Harward refusing to go to work for the White House as the new head of the National Security Council yesterday after Trump’s unhinged press conference: “Admirals know what sinking ships look like, and know that it’s a bad idea to get onto them.”

Heh.

– Badtux the “Hey, it’s 1973 and Nixon is President again!” Penguin

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Flynn’s gone, but top Republicans are apparently planning to investigate his ties to Russia and what he told them. At the same time, our very own allies are conducting intelligence operations against us because they can’t figure out what His Fraudulency Donald the Trump is up to. I think they will be disappointed. I don’t think even Cheeto Mussolini knows what he’s up to.

Meanwhile, Andrew Puzder is out as Labor secretary. Puzder racked up a litany of sins. He employed an illegal housekeeper for years and failed to pay taxes. He apparently abused his wife, complete with a video of his ex-wife on Oprah explaining what he did to her. It came out that he liked illegal immigration because it gave him cheaper labor for his stores. MoJo came up with dozens of labor law violations in his restaurants. And so forth. About the only thing people didn’t accuse him of was talking to the Russians. Must have been the only appointee of the Orange Racist Russian Stooge who wasn’t.

I can’t remember any administration that had so much turmoil in its first four weeks. This isn’t normal, folks. It isn’t. It really isn’t.

Time to pray to the Great Penguin to save America… not that She will. She’s much too fat and lazy for that. Sigh.

– Badtux the Frazzled Penguin

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