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Archive for the ‘Deadbeat Donnie’ Category

After the White House bans cameras and audio recorders, CNN sends a criminal sketch artist to sketch the White House press gaggle. Great troll, CNN! Send a criminal sketch artist to sketch criminals! LOL. One thing that the Trump Administration’s continuous attacks on the press has managed to do — journalists are suddenly discovering the power of trolling.

So, how fucked are we? Well, this is how fucked we are:

Yeah, things are going to keep getting worse, so gonna have to find my old polyester leisure suit to prepare for the second coming of disco! But seriously, we were so cute back then….

Uhm, yeah, that’s an old family photo from the disco era, a bunch of cousins…

So anyhow, why do I say things aren’t going to get better?

  1. Democrats are *not* going to take back the House next year. Not unless a lot of gerrymandering lawsuits suddenly pay off and get those districts un-gerrymandered.
  2. Even at that, in many states Democrats are going to have hard time winning. The majority of states have Republican governors. In fact, 33 states out of 50 have Republican governors. And that is not a result of gerrymandering — governors are elected at-large by the majority of voters in a state.
  3. Democrats are *not* going to take back the Senate next year. There simply aren’t many Republicans whose terms expire next year, and they’re in generally safe states. In fact, I suspect Republicans are going to gain seats in the Senate next year.
  4. Republicans are not going to impeach Donald Trump, Mike Pence, or anybody else. Why should they? Congress has the power of the purse, and can keep Trump/Pence from doing anything that’s too out of line with the desires of the Republican king-makers on Wall Street. And Trump makes a fine distraction from the evil shit that Congress is doing. About the only way that Trump is going to get impeached is if he decides to defy Congress on a continual basis and do shit that Wall Street hates. Uhm, his two top advisors are Wall Street tycoons, as is half his White House cabinet. Yeah, that ain’t gonna happen.
  5. Americans here in the Land of the Coward and Home of the Slave aren’t going to suddenly rise up and overthrow their government. Look, if you don’t believe me, go read the newspaper comments section for one of those newspapers in flyover land. Half of them are about how all their problems are the fault of “libtards”. And her emails! It turns out that you *can* fool the majority of people all the time. P.T. Barnum’s ghost must be weeping in envy somewhere.
  6. So: conclusion: Things are going to get worse for the majority of Americans. Americans are going to lose their health care, they’re going to lose their houses maybe, their jobs maybe, their lives are going to keep getting harder and harder ever year. And they won’t do a thing to change it, because they’ll blame it all on handy skapegoats.

So yeah, dust off those old disco duds, folks, cause we gonna be dancin’ this next 3 1/2 years — dancin’ all the way to hell. Crap, there’s a fucking good chance that Donald Trump will serve as President for eight years. 38 governors, remember. And the electoral college, which means that states whose governors mostly govern over cows get disproportionately more power to select the President than the prosperous Democratic states get…

– Badtux the Dancing Penguin

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I’ve been baking the past few days because we *finally* got summer here in the SF Bay area — and boy howdy, we got it with a vengeance. Broke records all around the Bay area on Sunday, and Saturday wasn’t much cooler.

So anyhow, in the aftermath of a lesbian black woman saving the life of an anti-gay David Duke supporting bigot who was attacked by what appears to have been a lone wolf white Bernie Bro, the tighty righties have their panties in a bunch about how those mean lefties are coarsening the public discourse. Like this leftie threatening violence:

Err, yeah.

Or this liberal threatening violence:

Err, ah. Okay. Well, I’m sure this guy has to be a liberal:

No? Okay, so how about this guy who shot someone outside a Milo Yiannopoulos speech? He was clearly a liberal, right.

Uhm, no. He was wearing a Trump hat and had told his wife he was carrying his gun with him to the event so he could kill some liberals.

Okay, so let’s get this straight. You have some liberals saying that we should impeach Trump, one of whom, out of all the millions saying that, decided to start taking potshots at Republicans. Then you got right wingers saying that killing liberals is a great idea, *lots* of right wingers saying that, you can’t throw a rock at Stormfront or Brietbart or the Fox News comment section without hitting one of the right wingers saying that, and that means that liberals are the ones advocating violence.

Yeah, global warming is real, and it’s apparently baked the fucking brains out of half of America. Just sayin’.

– Badtux the Too-warm Penguin

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His jobs program apparently is… lawyers.

Yep, Donald Trump’s lawyer has hired a defense lawyer to defend him (the lawyer) against charges of colluding with Russia. Everybody in Trump’s family has hired a lawyer to defend them against charges of colluding with Russia. Donald Trump hired a different lawyer (other than the lawyer who hired the lawyer) to defend him against the charges of colluding with Russia, and it appears that Trump’s Russia lawyer (Kasowitz) is going to have to hire his own lawyer given his own history of collaborating with the Russians. Mike Pence has hired a personal lawyer too to deal with Russia inquiries, and Stephen M. Ryan, the lawyer for Trump’s original lawyer that needed a lawyer to defend him against Russia collusion charges, apparently is also going to need a lawyer because he, too, has been called to testify about Russia collusion. So the lawyer for the lawyer needs a lawyer.

Dear Appalachia: if you guys need jobs, Donald Trump has the jobs program for you! Just go to law school as a defense attorney, move to Washington D.C., and bingo, you’ll be hired immediately by the lawyer of a lawyer of a lawyer who needs to defend another lawyer against charges of colluding with Russia. It’s lawyers all the way down!

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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And nothing is going to happen, folks. Not until after mid-terms.

So yeah, Trump tried to shut down the Russia investigation. Yeah, that was obstruction of justice. Yeah, that’s illegal. No, nobody’s going to impeach Trump over it. Not yet, anyhow.

Here’s the deal: The Republicans in Congress are scared of the MAGAts, the hard-core red-MAGA-cap wearing Trump partisans. They’re scared for their physical safety, and they’re scared that the MAGAts will primary them if they oppose the MAGAts’ Great Orange Savior. The only thing — the *only* thing — that could make them ever go against the MAGAts would be if they felt their entire career was on the line if they didn’t. As in, fear of getting voted out of office.

And the only way *that* fear is happening is if the Republicans lose a lot of seats in 2018, especially if the seats lost are in supposedly “safe” Republican districts. At that point they’ll impeach Trump, using the ammunition that Comey gave them, and put Pence into office. Pence is an evil theocrat, far more evil than Trump in the big picture of things, but Pence is Republican-friendly. He doesn’t make blustering bumbling blundering statements in inappropriate venues. He is careful to observe the proprieties. He simply doesn’t cause the kinds of issues that Trump causes for Republicans. He does his evil quietly, behind closed doors, and throws bones to the pro-business wing of the Republican Party in the process.

And the reason for the timing? There has to be sufficient time for Pence to put together his campaign for 2020. So figure that, if Trump is going to be impeached, it is going to happen no earlier than January 2019 and no later than June 2019.

But my prediction? Trump isn’t going to be impeached. The reason? It’s because his blustering bumbling has, thus far, had no real impact on the political fortunes or prosperity of Republicans. Having Trump in office is like life insurance for Republican officials, they can blame Trump, not the Republican orthodoxy, for anything bad that happens, while all the while getting their own agenda through Congress and signed by a surprisingly pliant Trump, who seems to sign everything that is plopped in front of him regardless of how ill-considered. It’s “hold my beer and watch *this*!” taken to YUUGE proportions. And the result, as I’m sure you know, is usually a crash… but as long as the crash can be blamed on anybody-but-orthodox-Republicans, they don’t seem to care.

– Badtux the Car Crash Penguin

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Americans aren’t Germans. Germans are orderly and by the book. German roads are perfectly striped and perfectly paved. German cars are ridiculously expensive because they’re over-engineered and over-inspected to make sure they’re as perfect as the Germans know how to make them. They’re a tidy, fastidious people for whom everything must be just so.

Americans, on the other hand, are the nation of “hold my beer and watch *this*!” Everything is sloppy here, from the lines on the highways which differ ridiculously from state to state, to the way we drive. We drive Germans nuts. A Mercedes executive in charge of autonomous car development once tried out a semi-autonomous car that worked perfectly on German roads on American highways, and almost had a nervous breakdown as his car’s computer *did* have a nervous breakdown. “You people can’t even stripe your roads right!” he said, as furious as a German ever gets.

This, of course, is why we invented Silicon Valley and the Germans didn’t. The whole of Silicon Valley is “hold my beer and watch *this*!” applied to computer technology. Most of the time, the result is a spectacular crash, as the dismantled remains of so many failed Silicon Valley companies demonstrates. Sometimes, however, sometimes… you get a Facebook, or a Google, or an eBay, and wonderful things happen. All because of “hold my beer and watch *this*!”.

Now, when applied to the national government… suddenly “hold my beer and watch *this*!” doesn’t seem so great. But a majority of people in sufficient electoral college states thought differently, so ….

– Badtux the Non-beer-drinking Penguin

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Fifty years ago, Hunter S. Thompson published Hell’s Angels: The strange and Terrible Saga of the Outlaw Motorcycle Gangs. A writer for The Nation remarks:

Thompson concluded that the most striking thing about them was not their hedonism but their “ethic of total retaliation” against a technologically advanced and economically changing America in which they felt they’d been counted out and left behind.

For Thompson, the Angels weren’t important because they heralded a new movement of cultural hedonism, but because they were the advance guard for a new kind of right-wing politics.

Thompson pointed out that the whole ethic of this new right wing politics was the ethic of total retaliation. If you can’t win, destroy. If you aren’t very bright, terrorize those who are brighter than you. Decades before “What’s the Problem with Kansas”, Thompson was explaining to us what politics was going to look like in the future… and now is that future.

Let’s put it bluntly: Appeals to reason are not going to work with Trump’s deplorables. Reason is one of those elite things, done by people they hate who are smarter than them, and thus to be hated and destroyed. CNN and dozens of other news outlets (all of whose reporters are visible on camera) cover an anti-ISIS rally by Muslims in London? Clearly completely faked.

Sigh. So an anti-ISIS protest by Muslims is obviously fake, because clearly no Muslim could ever hate someone who beheads, uhm, mostly Muslims.
These people are immune to reason. And their lord and savior, God-Emperor Donald the Trump, tells them exactly what they want to hear — that he’s gonna stick it to all them smarty-pants people that is better than them.

We are fucked.

That is all.

– Badtux the “We’re fucked” Penguin

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Really?

So how’s about this, Twitter Troll in Chief: If the terrorists who struck at the London Bridge / Borough Market had been carrying guns, a lot more people would have died. If they’d had guns, it would have looked a lot like the Bataclan Theater attack in Paris, where 89 people died. But because they only had knives and a truck, only 7 people died.

In short, yeah, this was a victory for UK gun control. A total of 130 people died in the Paris attack, where the attackers were heavily armed with semiautomatic weapons and a lot of rounds of ammunition. A total of 7 people died in the London attack where the attackers were armed with knives and a van. That’s a helluva lot less people than 130.

Of course, His Fraudulency Donald the Trump isn’t the only person trolling. Both of the candidates for Prime Minister in the UK are trolling, hard. Corbyn claims that this shows that the UK interventions in the Middle East are having blowback that endangers British lives for no gain for Britain. May claims that Corbyn is playing politics with the lives of innocent British citizens, while at the same time claiming that the solution to terrorism in the UK is to censor the Internet. Which is, uhm, playing politics with the lives of innocent British citizens — this is something she’s wanted to do for a long time as the “Queen of Mean”.

Meanwhile, here in the United States our copycat terrorists are right wing terrorists, like that nutjob in Portland who killed two men who interfered with his harassment of two Muslim girls and then yelled in court, “You call it terrorism, I call it patriotism. You hear me? Die.” And what does the Twitter Troll In Chief have to say about that?

CRICKETS

But he *does* have this to say:

Which travel ban would have stopped the Portland terrorist, uhm, how? And the “rights” he’s talking about appear to be the right to, uhm, say nasty things to Muslims. Exactly the same right that the Portland terrorist exercised to the point of killing two men who were interfering with his right to terrorize two young Muslim girls.

What a fucking asshole.

That’s all.

– Badtux the Asshole-despising Penguin

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