Archive for the ‘9/11’ Category

Those eye rolls are going to happen because of all the “Remember 9/11/2001!” stuff where we’re supposed to be all scared out of our seats by the fact that some terrorists got lucky 16 years ago. And these teens and tweens, who’ve never known a day when we haven’t been at war in Afghanistan, are going to be rolling their eyes and be, like, “why you people talking about all this ancient history, again?”.

Sixteen years.

The children of the soldiers who first went on patrol in Afghanistan are on patrol there today. The children of the Taliban soldiers who first fired at our soldiers in Afghanistan are firing at our soldiers today. This is crazy. Worse than crazy. And our tweens and teens, not knowing any different in their innocence, are like, “that was, like, so yesterday, why are we still talking about that?”

Out of the mouth of babes….

– Badtux the Moving-on Penguin


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— Donald Trump

So anyhow, New York had their primary today, and as expected, Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton appear to be the big winners. Pizza Rat… err, Ted Cruz… couldn’t get much traction after all his talk of “New York Values” being un-American and all that. How surprising! Hillary appears to have gotten some help from some good ole’ fashioned machine politics in many districts, but it appears to have been fairly pro forma — exit polls found that even those who left frustrated because they’d been scrubbed from voter lists tended to favor Hillary. Like Vladimir Putin, the Democratic Machine tried to rig the election because it’s what they do, not because it was necessary in order for their preferred candidate to win.

So onward and outward. More on that later.

– Badtux the Politics Penguin

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This is the day when we’re supposed to all pucker our butts on command and give up all our rights ’cause, 9/11, man.

Here’s the problem: It’s been fourteen years. We have an entire generation now to whom “remember 9/11!” is history as ancient as “remember Pearl Harbor!” was to my generation. Even for those of us who were around, that was a long goddamn time ago. Lotsa shit has happened since then, this whole pucker your butts in fear of terrorists shit is getting pretty goddamn old. Frankly, like most Americans now, I’m more concerned that a cop is gonna kill me ’cause he don’t think I’m giving him proper respect or ’cause he thinks my cell phone is a gun or my wallet is a gun or hell, ’cause he thinks my fucking can of beer is a goddamn gun, than I am about terrorists killing me.

So color me un-puckered. In the meantime the events set off by that day continue to kill thousands in the Middle East, but that doesn’t matter, because they’re only darkies so they don’t count. And if I sound cynical about my fellow Americans and their casual racism, it’s because I read the newspaper every day. Just sayin’.

– Badtux the Unimpressed Penguin

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The advertised purpose of the TSA is to keep terrorists from boarding flights with weapons. So, how well do they do that job? Hint: Not well.

To give you the number: 95% of attempts to smuggle weapons past TSA checkpoints were successful. Which is roughly the same proportional as last year, and the year before that, and the year before that, and the year before that, and ….

None of this is surprising in the least. Real security experts call the TSA “security theater”. Its sole purpose is to employ tens of thousands of otherwise unemployable people lacking the skills and education to get better jobs, while providing the illusion of security to airline passengers who might otherwise be too nervous to board a flight. It was never about securing airliners — after 9/11, nobody is stupid enough to try to hijack an airliner no matter how much firepower they’re carrying, because the passengers already know they’re dead at that point so will take the hijacker with them — it was about theater, something for politicians to point at and say “see, we’re doing something!”.

Before 9/11, there was roughly 18,000 security screeners employed by airlines. Today there are over 50,000 TSA screeners. Are we really 277% safer today than we were in 2001? Well… 95% says no. But we certainly have taken 32,000 people off the streets who otherwise are too stupid to be employable, so next time you’re in a line with 100 other people trying to go through the 1 lane that’s open and you’ve been standing there an hour as one… after… another… gets slowly ushered through the portals, and you suddenly realize that you’re wearing mismatched socks today and you’re about to have to take off your shoes and show them to the world… well. Know that your sacrifice is not in vain. You’re providing welfare for morons and keeping them busy and feeling useful. Surely that’s something, right?

– Badtux the Snarky Penguin

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(A repeat from last year. Because it doesn’t need saying twice.)

Today is a national holiday where everybody pees their pants on command while chanting “Save me, oh kindly Big Brother!”. We are supposed to either cower in terror that Zombie Dead Osama is coming to get us, or we’re supposed to go grab our guns and go kill a darkie for Jeeeezus! The television airwaves today will be filled with death porn commemorating the murder of a couple thousand people in New York City and a few hundred elsewhere with Important People solemnly intoning “we shall never forget”. The question of *what* we shall “never forget” is never asked. We’ve certainly forgotten the names and faces of those who died on September 11, 2001, after all. Well, unless you’re one of those who lost a friend or relative in the attack, but folks who lost a friend or relative in the attack aren’t one of the Important People who will be intoning “we shall never forget”, they’ll be someplace private where they can avoid all the death porn.

And let’s not even think about all the hundreds of thousands of deaths of innocent civilians and not-so-innocent soldiers (both American and otherwise) that were “justified” by the fact that “them darkies attacked us!” (for any random darkies that had nothing to do with the 9/11 attacks, such as Iraqis, the Taliban, and so forth), or the loss of civil liberties where you now must accede to an anal probe and carry an internal passport oops “government-issued ID” if you want to travel more than a few hundred miles from your home or even vote in many states (gosh , just like the Soviet Union!), or any of that. No no, this is a solemn day, where we worship death while whipping out our big swinging dicks and, like, jizzin’ *all over*, not just on our own country, but in random other places overseas where we swing our dicks and jizz all over’em just because, well, because we can.

So it goes. It’s enough to drive a penguin to the sauce. Herring sauce, that is.

— Badtux the Rude Penguin

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A wonderful opportunity

We should just re-post Jonathan Schwartz’s damning indictment of the so-called “leaders” of the hairless monkeys that infest this planet on every anniversary of 9/11. He said all that needed to be said. You might think that the following photo, of a now-orphaned girl who just had her family slaughtered before her very eyes by U.S. soldiers jumpy about suicide bombers, as a tragedy:

But that is because you are a follower, not a leader. You are the ruled, not the ruler. To the deranged sociopaths who are the rulers of the hairless monkeys infesting this planet, this is an enormous opportunity. The money quote:

For normal people, it’s an unmitigated tragedy when their fellow citizens are killed in terrorist attacks or wars. Normal people cry, become afraid, and think of children who now have no parents and parents who now have no children.

For our would-be “leaders,” however—in every country—the situation is different. Of course, they pretend to feel the same as normal people. They give teary-eyed speeches about sorrow and suffering.

And yet, behind their tears, there seems to be something else. When they think no one is looking, you glimpse another expression flitting across their face. You think it couldn’t be. But—yes, incredibly enough, they’re smiling. Because before the bodies are cold, before the mothers have stopped shrieking, our leaders are thinking:

And for them it is. It’s an opportunity for them to do whatever they wanted to do before, but couldn’t get away with. It’s an opportunity for them to smear anyone who criticizes them as disloyal. It’s an opportunity for them to become much more powerful than they ever could be in peacetime. Leaders love war. That’s why there’s so much of it.

Will the sheeple look up? Probably not. They never have before, after all. It is the very nature of a monkey to blindly follow its alpha male and hoot and howl and throw feces at monkeys from other troops of monkeys. Expecting more of the hairless monkeys called “humans” is futile. Sadly, a penguin in a time of chimpanzees is doomed to disappointment.

– Badtux the un-snarky Penguin

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Never forget

When the towers were burning… when the country cried out for leadership… George W. Bush did not jump into action and get on his phone to the CIA, FBI, NSA, etc. to find out what was going on and direct the response. Instead, he sat and stared into the distance, waiting for his handlers to tell him what to do. Not for one minute. Or two minutes. Or three minutes. Or even four minutes. For *SEVEN* minutes, that we have on tape (maybe more that wasn’t on tape). What a brave war hero Dear Leader is…

Meanwhile, Osama bin Laden, mass murderer of over 2,000 Americans, is still free. What a miserable failure this “man” is…

— Badtux the Memory Penguin

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